Life is confusing. In the year 2007 my family moved from Indiana to another state. Transitioning between the schools was different, since the teaching styles were different. Luckily I fit into that school, which i attended for fifth grade. Throughout my fifth grade year I received all A’s and B’s. In the blink of an eye boom, my graduation. Over the Summer before my 6th grade year weird events began to occur. Suddenly my mom began to leave, causing my dad to go after her. Other than that life seemed normal, we still had family time, and our parents still went on dates. Towards the end of Summer, in August our parents began fighting in front of us often. Finally, when school resumed we were relieved, maybe they would stop fighting, while we were there. Rapidly we realized the fights would still continue while we were there. During school nights our parents fought around 11 pm, so we barely got any sleep. Unfortunately I received F after F in math class, since it was 1st hour. Other than that it was D after D or C after C in my other classes. Grades, for me sucked, as every night was the same. Around October was when the divorce papers got finalized. Instantaneously my dad moved out.
Around the month of March my mom met the next guy she would date. This guy, a nobody, who she met on myspace. She knew him, or at least thought she knew him, when she introduced him to us. Instantly I noticed something off about him, me and my sister fought, while we all played uno. Our mom called us up stairs and told us “I know me and your dad aren’t together anymore, but just give him a chance.” We accepted the fact of having to get to know someone who we had no intention of knowing. Within the next few months money came up missing constantly, for years with minor consequences. Honestly, I believe he stole at least $10,000 from us during the time we lived there, not to mention he didn’t work either. Mike had 3 children: one with my mom, and one from each of his ex’s. At this point he owed child support for the kids from past relationships, which he didn’t pay since he had an extensive criminal background, and had troubles finding a job. Last Summer was when they finally broke up, however my mom told him he could stay another week. During that week my mom got another boyfriend named Tony, who slept in my mom’s room, while Mike slept on the couch. Obviously, this showed Mike he was not wanted, and he left after a few weeks.
Rapidly Tony became the center of attention he chose the car, as well as convincing my mom to get a pitbull. Daily my life and my sister’s life was school, hw, and raising our little sister from the time we got home to the time we slept. Our mother did not realize the poison she inflicted on our family. Lucky for her we gave every guy a chance, however a line was drawn after Mike. Obviously we figured her choice of men was going to be better. Again she failed when she chose Tony. He left after 5 months, he left a note for my mom, while she was at work saying he was going to hitchhike to California. When my mom came home from work she broke down in tears. Attempting to reach him time after time, but he did not pick up after numerous attempts. Finally after my mom was about to give up he answered. My mom asked why he left, he responded “pay here is not enough.” Both my mom and Tony never had a college education. After 4 short days our mom left to pick him up driving 6 hours, since he did not make it all the way to California. This ended it for me and my sister. We moved in with our dad. This turn of events caused my mom to move back to Indiana with her family. When this occurred it was May so my dad drove half an hour to drive us there, then repeated it for the ride home. When school let out we visited our mom biweekly, but still were ignored, since Tony moved with her. He was her boyfriend, the one that left, we were her kids, the ones that would always be there.
Believe it or not every event impacted my life. My parents divorce caused me to do poorly in 6th grade, which in turn caused me to not be in any advanced classes. I viewed myself as smart, recently I realized how much this event crippled my education. Here, of course teachers decided if you were advanced or not, apparently A’s and B’s were not enough. I remember sitting in english class wondering how I will ever advance my writing to the college level, which I still struggle with. Rapidly I realized basic skills I was lacking, other than basic intellectual knowledge, these include my writing skills, reading skills. During my 6th grade year I was too tired to care how I looked, daily I was put down, but those bullies failed to realize all I needed was someone to talk to. Another skill I was lacking and still am is interacting with others, and maintaining good eye contact. Obviously I had low self esteem, no one could help that.
My mom dating Mike affected me greatly.  Constantly my mom and him were hanging out watching movies, and sleeping. Often I felt trapped in my own room feeling the walls caving in. I knew everyday I would come home sit in my room, do homework for hours straight, and raise my little sister (who was 2 my freshmen year) with my other sister, since our mom, or any of her boyfriends would not watch her, this went on for another 2 years. As a matter of fact I remember telling my mom Mikaela went to the neighbors house, she said “yeah I know, I let her go over there all the time.” I was wondering why my mom would let a 3 year old be outside by herself unsupervised in a neighborhood she does not feel comfortable in. Hysterically, most of the time it is the other way around: the parent is protective, and the teenager is less caring. Often times, events like these rapidly shape your personality. I became the lonely one. I was the one who had little time for social media, which helps in communicating with others. I was the one who had to choose between giving my little sister a happy life, or me having a happy life. Obviously, my decision was caring for my little sister. I believed and still believe “the greatest impact you make in someone’s life is when you give up your time for someone, and someone else fails to show them love.”
My mom dating Tony impacted me greatly. He was given top priority over us, which was unfair. He was the one that chose the dog. He was the one that chose the car. He was the one who left. Daily my mom would buy beer, and cigarettes for them, before food for us to eat. Constantly we would wonder why we were so meaningless. How can someone possibly drive 6 hours to pick someone up who left, and let them move to Indiana with you. In my opinion if a guy leaves he will leave again. Coincidentally, a few months after moving to Indiana he left again.Vanishing like a speck of dust in the air breaths of relief were breathed.
Obviously, all these events impacted me greatly, however the effect of them combined is much greater. Rapidly I became self conscious, doubting if I even belonged here, who would have cared if I were gone. Constantly stress conquered my life, daily my life was based around school. Being neglected, I attempted to fit in at school, but in reality I didn’t. Based on past events I am beginning to doubt what I am capable of achieving. School, was always my enemy. More often than not I would be made fun of, or had few people to talk to. Due to the fact that I moved around as a child numerous times interacting with others became a struggle. Daily I went to school, and daily I realized I would be rejected. I was just that person who always would smile who seemed happy, but in reality felt life was too much. Eventually, sometime during my freshmen year my depression began to diminish till my sophomore year, when minimal depression was present. Clearly, like everyone else I had random events that drove me into subtle depression. During my junior year I had increased self motivation, as well as an increased self esteem, for the second year in a row I received a music scholarship for $150. This scholarship helped me to be able to go on our annual chorale tour. Receiving a scholarship helped my mental state greatly, I rapidly realized I was appreciated, and rapidly I began to play piano. Although I planned on advancing my music skills I didn’t have time, but the drive is all that matters. Currently, during my senior year I am doing much better, however I just want to graduate so I can be out of school and work. As of now my plan is to take a year off school so I can work full time, save up, and also figure out what I would like to do in the future.