Every morning I wake up with ease to a constant warm breeze and rustling palm trees. I walk outside and smell the sweet aroma of Plumeria, White Jasmine, mangoes, and the ocean. My backyard is a playground for adventure seekers. To my left are majestic mountains wrapped in rainbows; on my right is the crystal clear ocean. I look up and feel the sun kissing my skin; I look down and feel tiny crystals of sand crunching between my toes. Suddenly a wave crashes to shore and the taste of salt touches my lips. Living in this magical place for three and a half years was a fantasy. I have lived in several different places growing up, but moving to Hawaii was the most overwhelming experience. Initially, thought of living in Hawaii meant nothing but dread and sadness because to me it meant leaving my entire life, family, and friends behind. But most importantly, moving to Hawaii meant forgiving my Stepfather for taking my life away.

“There’s no way I am going there. I am not moving. You aren’t my dad.” These were the words I told my stepdad six years ago. When I was ten years old, my mother remarried a military man, and we all moved in with him- a stranger in my eyes. In the beginning everything was fine, he was friendly, but I was still jealous of how close he was becoming to my mother. After about a year of mutual disregard, he told my family the big news. The Navy had given my Stepfather orders to move all the way to Hawaii from our current town in Tennessee. At that very moment, I hated the world. No more sleepovers with my best friend Julia, no more bike rides to the park, no more annual visits to the lake, and most importantly, no more baseball games with my father. I was in for the transition and surprise of a lifetime.

“You’ll make new friends dear, and you’ll still get to visit your Dad. And besides, can’t you be happy that we are moving to paradise?” I then answered quietly to myself, “No Mom, I’m not happy. Why do I need paradise when I have everything I want right here? No Mom, I’m not excited. Why would I be excited about being 4,277 miles, 7 states, and one ocean away from everyone I had ever loved and everything I had ever known?” A few months had passed and then it was time for the big move. “We’re finally here! Is everyone ready to start their new lives?” Once again my thoughts were stuck inside my head, “New life? Ha. All I feel is loneliness and sadness. I have no friends. No one to talk to. Nowhere to go. Just by walking out of the airport I can tell that the people here are very different than me. Stupid Stepdad, this is all your fault. If you had never come along, I would still be happily settled in Tennessee. Why me? I was right about the people here; no one seems to like me. I feel discriminated against and even lonelier than I had before.”

I am still trapped on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with nothing but my resentment to keep me occupied. “Loran, would you like to go to the beach? Loran, would you like to go hiking?” “No, not really. You ruined my life.” My stepfather kept trying to make an effort to create a father-daughter relationship with me, but I kept my distance. Everything was perfect when it was just my mother, brother, and me. I still ponder what happened, but as days passed, my feelings and thoughts changed. On a family trip to the beach, filled with surfing, Frisbee, and sandcastles, I thought to myself, “Wow, everyone looks so happy. I’ve never seen my mom have such a big smile on her face.” That same day, my Stepfather asked me if I would take SCUBA diving lessons with him. “SCUBA diving? With you? You’re actually interested in doing something for me besides ruining my life?” I decide to go with him; maybe it is worth giving him a chance. At this very moment underwater, my thoughts changed. “I’m breathing underwater. I see tropical, flashy fish everywhere and magnificent corals covering the ocean floor.” I look behind me and see my Stepdad smiling at me behind his mask… and I smile back. “Maybe he isn’t all that bad. He cares enough to introduce me to something new and exciting. Maybe he loves my brother and me like we were his own children. He’s even taken my brother golfing a few times, something he’s always loved.” A multitude of fun family events like this melted my resentment away. We found hidden beaches, hiking trails, and local restaurants. I realized that things were not nearly as bad as they initially were. I soon made new friends, called my dad a few times a week to tell him about all my adventures, and spent more time with my new family. Living in Hawaii for three and a half years was the most incredible experience of my life. But most importantly, I learned to love my stepfather and accept him as a father… “Hey Dad , can you help me make sure my SCUBA gear is ready to go? I can’t wait to go with you tomorrow morning.”