Something so small can really change the lives of others. For me it turned my whole life upside down. Epilepsy is a brain dysfunction that invades the lives of many.
I was five years old in kindergarten and was showing my teacher I could hang upside down on the monkey bars. Climbing up so excited about showing a new trick I had learned. When I crossed my legs over each other and lost grip of the greasy bars. I had fallen on my neck. Getting up from shock all I could realize is my head hurt and I couldn’t make out a clear imagine.
This is where my story begins. Spine, neck, and brain damage occurred. I was starting to have non stop seizures. I didn’t know what was going, family, or friends. For all we knew I was just rolling my eyes. Until the age of ten when I had my first tonic clonic seizure and was sent to the hospital. This is when I was hit with the big news of “Baylee, you have a dysfunction in the brain called Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. Something that might not be cured.”
Everyday I fight for a normal life, but it just gets really old. Sometimes I want to turn around, pucker up my lips, cross my arms across my chest, and say “no I am done” as tears fall from my eyes. The thing is I can’t give up on a goal. Everyday is a step closer to a seizure free life. That should be enough motivation. I always remind myself about a unknown quote “You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” This is what really keeps me going. I know I am not a normal girl, but I know I am strong girl.
I deal with a lot rough things everyday. Sometimes I wonder how it could get worse than this, but it does. I hear every day someone will ask “what is wrong with your eyes?” The same old story is told everyday. I think, why can’t I tell the people a fun story, a happy story, or maybe even a dramatic story? Instead I have to tell a sad story, a story I don’t want to be reminded of, a memory that needs to disappear. The worse part of it is I have to hear the same thing after the same story is told, “you’re a strong girl.” There is no escaping the sob story. It just keeps getting longer everyday. People don’t really know what strong is. Strong is not living with day to day seizures, it’s not going to appointments everyday, having a hospital as a second home, fighting everyday for what might not even happen. That is not strong at all that is all around powerful!
Powerful is not being president of the United States, superintendent of a school district, a mom or dad, it isn’t being muscular and winning fights or sporting events. Powerful is being big hearted, always looking at the positive side when negative is invading your life, pushing yourself to the limit where giving up isn’t even an option anymore. Powerful is fighting for you life not for the victory. Powerful is a lifestyle, and it is my lifestyle!