And then all I heard was “BOOM!” What had just happened? What’s going on? Am I okay? Is my sister okay? I turn around immediately and ask my 4 year old sister Ireland, are you okay? She just stared back at me with her hand on her head and then finally nodded yes. I look around and finally pull over. I don’t know what to do. Do I get out? Do I stay here? Do I call the cops? So many different things run through my head. What were just seconds, felt like hours. I get out of my car and proceed to the brand new shiny bright red 2013 Ram Dodge pulled over on the side behind me. Before I even made it to his truck I turned around and saw what had really happened. My baby, my 2010 Ford Fusion, my life, totaled.

The kid gets out of his truck and just starts yelling, not at me, but at another girl who was involved with the accident, “WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!” She was just so calm, “She was stopping so I went around her.” I don’t even know what to say at this point. My heart is in the pit of my stomach. I’m shaking as if I’m freezing but felt as if I was on fire. They both then look at me. Did I do this? I don’t know what to say. “I was making a left hand turn in here for my sister’s daycare. I don’t know what happened. I was just about to turn, I look in my rear view mirror, see your truck, and here we are. My car is screwed,” I said with a soft shaky voice. I called my dad right away and I had told him what happened and he said he was on his way.

I was beyond worried about my sister, just a 4 year old little girl in the back seat of a car that was rear ended and now totaled. She was so strong though. She wasn’t crying or out of control or anything. I can tell you I was though. We had talked about what happened and called the cops. My dad’s girlfriend then shows up for support. The cops come and we each all give our stories and our information. I wasn’t worried about being blamed for anything. I was reared ended so it wasn’t my fault right? I was worried about my car, what am I going to drive? All I could think was how disappointed my dad would be in be and how upset he would be with me. I was just so.. out of it. I was so in shock I just could not move. I could not talk, nothing. The cops were taking forever. Why? It’s not hard to write up a ticket for just one person when it’s obvious who was at fault. They then started walking back to all of our cars. They call the boy over and tell him everything, he comes and shakes my hand and says good luck and leaves. They then go to the girl, tell her everything and she does the same thing, shakes my hand, wishes me luck, and leaves. They then come to me. “Ma’am, here is your ticket. Your court date will be November 21st, and 11:00am. You are receiving the ticket because you failed to turn your turn signal on. Here is your insurance and license back.”

I stood there for a second. Blank. Nothing running through my mind. Just, blank. I then drop in the passenger seat of my car and just begin to cry and cry and cry. It’s my fault? I caused this? I totaled my car, that’s not even paid for yet. My dad just got a bill for my wisdom teeth that recently got removed and has to pay $2,000 for that, he’s trying to find a new house. And now I cause an accident? My dad doesn’t make good money, at all. We struggle every month just to keep our home and put food in our stomachs, and now I do this? Why me? I’ve just put more stress on to my dad and on our situation. I can’t even begin to describe how miserable I was and how terrible I felt. He just hugs me and says “Hunny its okay, you didn’t do this. You didn’t cause this. I’m not mad at you at all.” All I could do was hug him and cry, “Daddy I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry”

For the two weeks before this I kept telling my family how much I loved them, more than usual. I was randomly texting my dad or grandparents telling them how much I love them and how much they meant to me. It’s like I knew this was going to happen. I was never hurt and neither was my sister but this definitely scarred me. You’re all probably thinking “What a baby, you’re fine, get over it” But this is something I never thought would happen to me. Now I go out and drive and I’m terrified. I see people come up behind me and I have a mini panic attack. I’m petrified of the road now. Also, we can’t afford a new car. We have other things we have to worry about and now I have a ticket. I just don’t know what to do, and I feel so alone.