Tommy Pagen
ELA 3rd
October 3, 2013

True Loss


You never truly know how much you love something or someone until they’re gone. Whether it be a close relative, friend, or distant friend of your friends. It makes you realize just how much you needed them in your life, and how much you depended on them. Value the things you’re blessed with, and be prepared to see them make a quick departure. That preparation will save you from that unexpected feeling of hurt and sadness. Granted, you will still feel it, but you’ll endure less than you unnecessarily should have to. I just wish I had been wise enough to prepare myself for what I had to endure just four months ago. He was the most stunningly clumsy puppy you’d ever have the privilege to be given. The instant I caught sight of him, he captured my heart and would not let go. Sitting on my living room stairs with school picture looking down at our happiness from the wall, the excitement was obvious. Going through the usual routine of pictures before presents, you would hear all the usual comments such as, “Mom hurry up!” and “Can we go yet?” My sister took words right out of my mouth saying, “You finally get us a dog and you expect us to wait?” I laughed a little inside. Pure joy set in. I’d finally been given the one gift I’d always wanted. I sat there, ignoring all of my family. Their comments, “Tommy we’re going!” “What’s his name?” were all just a blur. I sat there, taking everything in. The snow was falling perfectly outside. Perfect enough where you could see through it, but yet it made everything glittery white. It was the most beautiful winter morning of 2009. Hearing my sisters’ squeaky voice and the dogs erupting laughter, I made my way down the stairs. You’d never think a Schnauzer could run so fast and jump so high, but this puppy just proved to be special. It was just an amazing sight watching him run laps around my mom’s feet, enjoying the feeling of meeting his new family. While the kids swarmed him, I ran to my mom. She of course, gave me the famous responsibility speech. Parents can’t honestly expect us kids to listen to that, especially a squeaky, pale, chubby kid like me. I was just ready to run out in the snow, and just jump into a white cloud of coldness and joy. But I calmed myself, and asked my mo the burning question on my mind at the time. “What made you finally get us a dog mommy?” She responded, “I saw that you were ready for the responsibility, so I decided it was time.” How wrong was my mom? The future would prove her wrong soon, but for now, I just enjoyed my new beautiful puppy Wiet. As Wiet grew older, he grew more reckless. He would run out of the house, and send us on 24 hour rescue missions. He’d do his business on the carpet, changing me from an ordinary kid into a cleaning service member. He caused fights between my mom and I, trying to deal with how to care and handle Wiet. I remembered back to the speech she gave me when I first received him. That speech’s meaning started becoming clear, but I hadn’t yet truly understood it. It was becoming even clearer when I would walk him. Whenever a dog would cross our path, he’d pull me with the strength of a thousand pounds. It just became even clearer that he needed space to run and be free. “He needed to go wild” , as my mom would always say. I would always tell my mom, “I’d work harder” and “I’d give him more attention”. It just never seemed to ever happen, with school, sports, and friends. Him needing space was the most obvious when we would take him to my Uncle Marvin’s property up in Harrison, MI. The property was a medium sized house with wide vast open fields of nothing but grass and fences. The entire place was surrounded by forest, so we knew Wiet didn’t need a leash. Wiet wouldn’t ever dare go in the forest. With all the reckless stuff he did that was one of the few things he didn’t. Up there he had all the space in the world to run. He had no restraints. You could tell he wanted something like that all the time. We just weren’t able to provide that with our home and family. We live in a small suburban town with packed in houses and a wide variety of main roads. No room to run at all. Even when I would try to get him out on walks more, even when it was snowing, I’d just lose that drive to take care of him after a mere month. I’d be back at that state of mind of thinking he was a burden. Don’t ever doubt my love for Wiet. I loved him with all my heart right from the moment I laid eyes on him. I never wanted to ever give him. I always told myself that I would work harder, and give him a home he could strive in. It just never happened. And that was when my mom had found them. A lady who worked with my mom at her new job had apparently owned a daycare with tons of children at her property up north. Her property was even bigger than Uncle Marvin’s. A huge barn surrounded by nothing but fields of neatly trimmed grass and a couple widespread trees. She took a care of about 12 children, who all were looking forward to having a new dog in the family. My dog. I never wanted or would ever give Wiet up, but it’s just one of those situations where you have no say. She came on a warm, breezy August day. Somehow the atmosphere was happy, even though my heart was a storm. She introduced herself, and ever so reluctantly, I remained polite. I introduced myself, and asked the basic questions. “So do you have any history with pets?” “Are all the kids going to treat Wiet with love and care?” I’ll always remember the way she would always respond. “This home will be a good place for Wiet. He’ll get everything he needs with us. That really made me upset. Just throwing it in my face that we couldn’t give him what he needed. My anger was bursting out of me, but by the time I let out a scream, she was gone. And so was Wiet. I remember back to the day I got Wiet. The day when my life had changed, and I’d been given my first true responsibility. Heck, I was responsible for a life. My mom told me, “He needs to be walked and picked up after. There are going to be days when you’re tired or you want your own time to yourself, well you need to put Wiet first.” I finally realized how huge the responsibility it was to take care of a dog. It was no walk in the park I can tell you that. If I learned any lesson from my puppy, it’s to realize firsthand, that the greatest things in life, will take work to either get, or keep. So just make sure, if you love that dog, or that cat, you show it that love. Take responsibility for its life. And give it one to remember.