Although I’ve never been quite the same as the other kids my age, I can’t say that I’m all that different from them either. Some people tell me that I am an “old soul”; Meaning that I’ve seen and done things that many kids have not. It’s hard to choose just one experience that has shaped me, but I can definitely think of a few that have had a strong impact on who I am today. You see, time is one thing that can never be truly defined, and while some things seem to last forever, others only last a moment. The last year has been, for me, the longest journey; although it seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. What I faced beginning in the fall of 2012, is what helped to begin distinguishing myself from the rest of the world.

October 23rd, 2012, I woke up in my bedroom and realized that it was past the time I was supposed to be up and getting ready for school. I called my mom, expecting her to be at work, but discovered that she was still home, and she was crying. The previous two nights, my mom had spent at the hospital because my grandpa’s cancer took a turn for the worse. Thinking about the first night we got a call from the hospital, I knew what was going on. My grandpa passed away at 5:32 am on October 23rd, 2012. My world began to spiral out of control on that day, and I knew I would never be the same.

My 16th birthday happened to fall exactly 2 weeks past the day of the funeral. I tried to enjoy it, but it was hard to think that I had turned 16, but the most important person in my life wasn’t there to share it with me. To make things worse, I’d been continuously harassed and bullied by a girl at school, and I was losing my strength to keep going about with day to day life. I’ve never been very good at dealing with stressful situations, so this wasn’t an easy time. I began to consider taking my life, and attempted to do so, 3 times.

It wasn’t until about mid-January that I realized that how I was living, was not what God wanted for me. As a new Christian, my relationship with Christ wasn’t strong, and I wasn’t familiar with the act of praying. I took several weeks to basically meditate on the thoughts that I could be doing something so much better for myself.

In June, I released all the chains holding me down. I rid myself of “poisonous” people, and dropped all of my old “friends”. I pretty much stopped talking to anyone who didn’t know God, and decided that until I was confident in myself, and sure that I was strong enough to face worldly temptations, I would stay away from them completely. It was then, that I realized I was finally taking control of my life. I learned multiple things over that vast period of time. I realized that I had been living for the past, letting my history define me. But the past isn’t what defines a person. What defines a person is the lessons that they take from their past, and apply to their future. Then, and only then, can one truly be on their way to adulthood. When one takes control of their life, and says “this is who I am going to be”, is when they begin to become the person they really are. Free.