She said Hello Mister pleased to meet you, I wanna hold her I wanna kiss her – Take You Higher, by Goodwill & Hook N Sling. Tears ran down my face as I listened to those lyrics. As a straight girl, I wasn’t thinking of a ‘her’ rather, a ‘him.’ He was unexpected, my feelings for him even more so. It was the only real thing I had ever felt. So real that I felt a natural high, every emotion from happiness to sadness was felt. Trying to understand what I had just became conscious of I laid on my bed, pondering about our possibilities.

“But why him?” I repeatedly asked myself. It made absolutely no sense. I had always gone for the guy every girl wanted. That guy whose gorgeous eyes matched perfectly with his smooth skin. Whose hair wasn’t too dark or too light, but the perfect color. A guy who was perfectly cut, like a statue, standing at about 6 foot 5 inches. A guy that all my girls told me that I was lucky to be with. On the other hand, this guy was as scrawny as a toothpick at 5 foot 10 inches. His eyes were as dark as night. When I was with him the only thing he looked at were my eyes. No matter how badly my ADD was kicking in, whenever I looked back at him, he would solely be looking into my eyes. His skin was pretty rough too but he did have nice hair. So why did this all matter to me?

Before, I was too worried about whether people would accept ‘my boy’ at first glance or not. Everyone’s opinion mattered to me. “If I’m together with a boy who’s not hot then that means people will think I’m desperate or that I have low standards,” I would think to myself. Though, none of that went through my head when I thought about being with him. In my eyes he was more beautiful than any body I had ever seen. His flaws no longer existed. What did exist was the most free thinking boy I had ever met. He was not a forcer; he just let his life fall into place, this in result reflected on me as well.

We never tried to make one another happy; we knew we would both be happy just being with one another. I never tried to make him laugh, as he never tried to make me laugh. We simply spoke and half of what we said ended in abs-cramping laughter. Even when he was furiously screaming at me for ditching him two nights in a row, I started laughing. I laughed because I knew no matter how much crap we went through we’d never be able to be truly enraged with one another. We were so comfortable despite being acquaintances for a year and just getting to know each other for a few months. It was nice to be seriously unserious. Unfortunately for me, my situation was about to get serious.

Although I was very fond of this boy, he was not my boyfriend. In fact, I had a boyfriend. And yes, he was that boy my friends told me every day that I was so lucky to be with. So, there I was, lying on my bed with millions of thoughts running through my mind. I was so happy to have found that one guy who made my heart beat faster than riding on a roller coaster. At the same time, it would be extremely difficult to dump my first official high-school boyfriend who had all of the girls dropping their jaws as he walked by. Of course choosing between two boys is not the worst thing to ask for, but this felt like getting stung in the heart by a ray. I now knew how the women on The Bachelorette felt while deciding whom they would eliminate last.

“Why can’t I just be with both of them?’ I thought. Then I remembered that my school consisted of 800 low life gossipers. It would never work out, just like my room had not worked out yet. After four months of moving into my new home, I was still sleeping on a queen mattress without any stability beside my floor. My walls were bare with the only amusing aspect being my fan, two unpacked snow-globes and the December frost on my windows. I guess it was a nice place to focus about boys. Lying on my bed, I played my song. This song had magical powers. It allowed me to make life decisions. I would suddenly feel something, which would then transfer to my brain, giving me an answer straight from the heart. ‘Click’ I hit the play button on my most played song. Feelings were felt, they then sent signals to my brain, which in return made up my mind. I sunk into my bed. He was the right choice. He, as in, the scrawny boy who made my cheeks hurt of laughter. He, who could always make me smile during my darkest hours. Yes, he, who I had never imagined myself falling in love with. It was love.

Love was the reason why tears ran down my face. It was not the realization that I had to let go of a strong, tall, handsome boy, but that I was in love. This is the feeling that I fantasized about while reading Pyramus and Thisbe. The sensation I wanted to obtain so exceedingly when watching The Notebook. Now it was finally a reality. It’s the type of mood when all you want to do is crumble up into a ball and smile until your cheeks feel as though they’re going to fall off. All of this defied myself from second guessing my decision. Never had I asked myself, “Did I, the most picky girl in the world, just fall in love?” It didn’t need to be asked because I knew that I, the pickiest girl in the world, had fallen in love. Not in love with just any boy, but the boy who no one saw as “boyfriend material.” He didn’t flirt with every girl in sight like most macho men at my school. He just lived life without trying to start a relationship or trying to win people’s approval. I loved him for it.

What I had become conscious of was something amazing. I had finally found the inner beauty more attractive than the outer. No longer did impressions on my eyes matter, but impressions on my heart. Even though my friends were questioning my decision, I knew that as long as I felt something it must be true. This instinct proved to be correct. With my music by my side, we made a life changing choice. I am so glad that boy came into my life; he has changed it so magnificently. I shall never regret the day I let myself fall in love with him.