At some point in time we all have to realize that what we want to happen doesn't always happen. You don't always get what you want. Well I realized that when my grandmother died, and I've never been the same. She was my everything. She was my best friend, she was always there when I needed her. I loved her more than anything. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I had prayed for awhile, hoping that God would save her, that'd he'd allow her to stay with me. But he took her. The day of my fathers birthday, his mother died. That was the first time I had ever seen my father cry. I hated it. I hated I couldn't do anything to help. I felt so fragile, so helpless. I shut down. I've never really been the same since then. I don't dare get attached to anyone or anything, knowing down in my heart that it will leave, die, something will happen to take the thing I love away. So I don't love anyone or anything. Or at least I tried not to. Once he came around it all changed. Kevin started out as an acquaintance, someone I talked to here and there. Then it grew into a friendship, I talked to him daily and we talked about random things from movies to clothes. But still in the back of my mind I reminded myself not to get attached, if I got attached he'd leave. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was scared silly. I had no idea what to say. I wanted to be his girlfriend, but I didn't want something to go wrong. If something went wrong I'd be the one to blame. But I said yes. I was happiest then, more then I had ever been. The happiness didn't last. It was a stupid fight, something not worth fighting over but nevertheless we fought. After that fight we made up, but I was no longer happy. That fight was a dude awakening. We were young and our relationship wasn't going to last. I dreaded seeing him everyday, thinking he might break up with me at any moment. He worried about me, comforted me in every way he could've. But I wouldn't have it. A month later I was single and heartbroken. I knew it was all my fault, he had done nothing wrong. I murdered myself with words for my stupidity. I was the one that brought this upon myself. I had no one. Or so I thought. He was there. He didn't leave. He stood with me and comforted me, even though I had pretty much forgotten about Him. But I was still his child, and he my father, friend, and comforter. He's been with me ever since. I still push Him away once in a while, I become resilient. But I know He's there. He's always there, always will be and always has been. He is God. My God.