I stand in front of the bedroom mirror in my school uniform and I look at myself. Not the kind that you check yourself and fix your hair, no, I mean really look. You stare for long minutes until the world around you literally blurs away. Suddenly you start glowing and think you look strange. But why? I've stared at myself in the mirror before. Why does staring longer affect the results?

My Biology teacher once said that looking and observing are two different things. When you observe you see details you didn't see when you were looking. I guess I was observing this time.

My pale skin shone sickly under the fluorescent lighting, my cheeks were sunken and had no color, my eyes looked watery even though I wasn't crying and my lips were an ashy pink. I appeared very ill. Although I did not feel physically ill.

The uniform seemed to be a cheap white wedding dress. It washed me out. I looked like a bride that was stood up on her wedding day. Did I always look so sad? I tried smiling but it seemed wrong on my face; a piece not meant for me.

My eyes held a twinkle that I'd never seen before. Something about it made me believe that they held a message and if I stared long enough I could decipher it. "The eyes are the windows to the soul", they say. I never understood this quote. I though it was overused, narrow-minded, and silly. However, I think I get it now. Now I can see what it means. But my eyes were getting dry from not blinking, my legs ached from stiffness, and I was really crying now.

Perhaps my soul really is ill, sick, and sad. I wasn't sure, the windows weren't open very long.