When I younger the only worry I had was if I could tie my shoes, count to ten, and spell my name. As I grew older the worries shifted to how I looked or if I was cool or not. Now you’re probably wondering how this fits into an essay about mistakes. Well it’s pretty simple explanation perfection.

My one true mistake is my long windy road to perfection. I can remember walking into a room and my thought process would be in overload. I would be wondering what they thought about me or if I heard someone laugh than I instantly thought it was me they were laughing about. It went on like that for most of my teenage life. To me I was the complete opposite of beautiful. Looking in the mirror I saw a body that was fat. Hair that was bland and lifeless. And a face that only a mother could love. To me I was never good enough for anything and that lead to depression that still lingers in the back of my mind just waiting to come out to play. That’s when my destructive life style began. At first I would lock myself in my room and not come out for days and just sit and stare at nothing. It escalated into eating just once a day and even then my body still hated me for eating. I let it control me and in the end it beat me. After my body got use to the starvation I stopped eating all together but still my body wasn’t satisfied. Just looking at food or thinking about food made me fill guilty and disgusting. Looking in the mirror I could see my transformation from a fat ugly girl to a thin somewhat ugly girl. It was a addiction it was never enough ‘‘Just a little more I promise I’ll eat just as soon as I lose just a few more pounds’’. But that few more pounds never came. It was a never ending roller costar that I didn’t want to get off. People would fuel my thoughts by saying how tinny I was or how good I looked. That made me think what they would say if I lost more. I fell more and more in love with the thought. It lasted for a while until I lost so much strength that I couldn’t even wash my hair in the shower. It scared me and I caved and ate just enough to give me some energy.

It’s still very much of a battle that I have to deal with. Any little negative thought and I go right back to my old habits. My goal to perfection could have costed me my life and that is one of my biggest mistakes. I’ve learned that nobody can be perfect no matter how much they try. That I am fine just the way I am. Sure I’m probably going to have a few relapses here and there but as long as I have my family and friends behind me I know I can beat this one day at a time.