The thought of the holidays is usually merry moments and being with family members. Most Christmas’ my whole family comes together to get ready for the holidays. We decorate the house, get a tree, and watch the 25 Days of Christmas on the TV each day like most other families do. I realized how hard it is for the kids who don’t have parents to share the holidays with. Some children don’t even celebrate the holidays at all because it may be too hard to without someone they have lost.
This Christmas has been a lot different from years before. The past few weeks my mom got really sick. She went into a diabetic coma and was staying in the hospital for a really long time. We spent every moment at the hospital we possibly could, just watching her lie there since she wasn’t able to talk to us and she was not awake. Because most of our time was spent at the hospital, we didn't have as much time to spend getting ready for the holidays like usual. My dad was there all day, every day and right after school that’s where I went. A week later, my mom woke up from the coma. She couldn’t hold conversations and didn’t understand what was going on. She didn’t remember anything that happened and was scared and confused. A few weeks after that, she is finally home and is doing a lot better. She still can’t do much at home and needs assistance for most things, but the fact that she is home is the best thing that I could ask for.
This affected our usual traditions for holidays, because we didn’t have much time for them since most of our time was spent at the hospital. When I was younger, my whole family goes out to Devriendt Farm a few days after Thanksgiving to pick out a Christmas tree. As my family got older, it became just my dad and I who usually goes together. My dad usually is the one who picks out the tree, and we just approve it. He looks for a tall thick tree that would perfectly fit in the corner of out living room next to our fireplace. Then, we go home and decorate the tree together. This year, we didn’t get our tree until about December fifth. My dad got it by himself one day while the kids were at the hospital visiting my mom a few days into December. With the clear-wired wrapping it came in, it sat in our living room for about ten days. We weren’t home long enough to even take off the plastic. Finally, after my mom came home, we were able to take it off and decorate it. My house isn’t as lit up as usual with the lights and candles and the usual decorations that flood our house during the holidays. The whole feeling is different. In past years, we spend a day setting colored lights around my ceilings to line the tops of the rooms. We put out decorations on our windowsills and the mantle on the fireplace. So many that there is barely room to fit them all. When I was little, I remember always wanting to be the one who changed the day on the “Countdown to Christmas” hanging on the wall in the kitchen. As we got closer to Christmas, it made me even more excited knowing there was only a few more days until Christmas day and right as I would wake up I changed the number by moving the star over to the next day. We would set our stockings hanging off of our stair case railing. This year so far, there is none of that and there is only eight days until Christmas. The only decoration as of right now is our tree. It doesn’t even feel like Christmas is coming with all of the things going on.
Many of our traditions have been messed up this year. Each year around Christmas time my mom takes each kid out to go Christmas shopping. We go to the Natick Mall and then she takes us out to eat at our favorite restaurant, the Cheesecake Factory. We look for clothes and give her ideas of things we may want so she gets ideas in her head. This year, even though my mom is home she can’t drive and definitely does not have the energy to drive to Massachusetts and walk around the mall all day. My sister and I went Christmas shopping by ourselves this year. My dad isn’t good at picking out things we like, so he gave us a budget and we did it on our own. Doing this with my mom was one of my favorite things. It was like a bonding day for just the two of us. There weren’t the rest of the kids around and it would just be my mom and I, which doesn’t happen too often. I really enjoyed spending that time with her.
Even though we can’t do things that we used too, the fact that my mom is okay and improving each day is the most important thing. The day she got sick I felt bad for every fight we have ever gotten into no matter what it is about. I was so scared of what could have happened. I felt guilty even though I knew it wasn’t my fault. There was absolutely nothing I could’ve done to change it. But, in some way I thought maybe it was, maybe if I did something different this wouldn’t have happened and everything would be normal. There are times where I say I hate my family or they are so annoying, but really they are the most important people in my life and I honestly couldn’t go without them. Things can change within the blink of an eye and even though sometimes that is hard, it’s okay to be upset. Pretending you’re okay isn’t always they best thing for yourself. Some kids or even adults don’t get to really celebrate Christmas at all because of their situations. Some families just simply can’t face the holidays without having someone there with them they may have lost because facing that fact is just too hard for them. Before this year, that never really even crossed my mind.