This World's Mirror | Teen Ink

This World's Mirror

May 25, 2012
By Watson, GOLD, Billings, Montana
Watson, GOLD, Billings, Montana
18 articles 4 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

I see girls with makeup wandering aimlessly, twirling their hair and smiling at the boys. I see boys with muscles and basketball shorts laughing at the pretty girls’ jokes and smiling at their compliments. I see my reflection in the mirror, the teal fleece jacket hanging on a size fourteen frame and a dress framing what I hope is a figure. I can imagine what people are thinking, but I really don’t want to. So I’ll walk through the crowded corridor with my head up tall, lying to the world about who I am. Let them think that I’m confident, let them think that I’m capable, let them think that I don’t cry myself to sleep.

I see couples holding hands, stopping for a kiss. I see busy teachers with arms full of paper trying to avoid the football players. I see my reflection in the distorted mirror of a glass entrance, a girl clutching desperately to her purse, trying not to let the tears escape from her eyes. I press my eyelids shut and try to forget about the soccer game and all those times I got hit in the face, all those times no one helped me up, all those times they just watched and laughed. I blink open my eyes and turn around to face the hall full of students, the water crystals hanging from my eyes gone. Let them think I am confident, let them think I am able, let them think I don’t cry after gym class each day.

I see pretty girls with pretty boys, smiling at me from perfect pictures on the wall. I see sizes XXS, XS, and S, missing o-so conveniently the L that I need. I see myself in the dressing room mirror in an outfit that is a size too small, even though I fit in that size last time I went shopping. I look ashamed and upset; the hatred in my eyes is no mistake. I peel of the clothes and put back on my skirt and heels, put back on my feeble attempt at pretty. I look at the reflection again and I see a girl who tries, but can’t succeed, who wants but cannot have. I scrunch up my face and close my eyes so I can’t see the echo of myself and walk back out into the busy, noisy drone of the mall. Let them think I’m confident, let them think I’m able, let them think I don’t hate myself.

I see bright red, green, blue, and white lights. I see a microphone a guitarist and a drummer from behind a curtain. But I don’t see myself in any kind of mirror that will distort my reflection, make me see the physical, make me see the image this world has made me see. Instead, I see myself as I really am. Black and pink, sky high heels, microphone in hand, strutting on to the stage. The audience screams and shouts, clapping and cheering for me. I pop my collar and they go wild. I feel like I’m on top of the world. I snap four times at the drummer and then I’m on fire. I sing like I’ve never sung before, putting my melody, my soul, into the guitar riff into the lyrics. I shake my hairsprayed hair and stomp around the stage, screaming the last note at the top of my lungs. The last three beats bring me peace, bring me life. Bam. I am confident. Bam. I am beautiful. Bam. I am me.

The author's comments:
Thank you, Mrs. L.

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This article has 1 comment.

Trees BRONZE said...
on Sep. 30 2012 at 9:27 pm
Trees BRONZE, Billings, Montana
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. How is that?

This is really good!  Your writing is easy to read and flowing.  Great job!  Oh yea and we're both from Montana :D