Have you ever questioned your religion choice? I have, many times. The question of whether God is real has always haunted me. I could never escape the voice in the back of my mind, screaming to my conscience that he was not real.

When I entered fifth grade, I started having doubts about the existence of God. I had never gone to church before, but I was always told when I asked that there was a god and if I was good then I would go to Heaven. Around seventh grade I started going to church with one of my friends to learn more about what, and who, God was. I went with my friend every Sunday, committed to learning where religion fit into my life. I even went to a youth church camp over the summer with her. Still, I did not understand who God was, and what the point of believing in him was. I could never understand why I was supposed to pray to something that I had no knowledge or belief of. I eventually stopped going to church with her, because I felt that if I had doubts about God then I should not go to a place of worship for him.

After a few years, at the start of ninth grade, I started to go to church with my friend again. It was a different church form the one I went to before, and it was a completely different experience for me. It was actually fun to go to Sunday worship, and at youth group they took the time to answer my questions whenever I had them. I got excited when it was time to go to church or when there were extra days when I could attend church. I loved it. Soon though, I realized that I did not love the church; I loved the thought of going to church. I did not believe in God, I realized. I liked the thought of learning about him and learning about why people believed in him, but I could not believe in him myself. I realized that I belief in the evolutional theory of evolution, and that I would never believe in God.


I still often go to church, to learn how different people’s beliefs have grown and changed. I have since then found other people that share my beliefs and thoughts, and I have discussed my feelings with them many times. I will always remember my times at church, but I will never regret confirming that I did not believe in God.