I Never Loved You | Teen Ink

I Never Loved You

December 22, 2009
By Anonymous

I was in the middle of school and i was in class writing notes to my boyfriend!(I rebounded from an ex) anyway he was also writing notes to some other girl and he accidentally gave me her note. Turns out he was cheating on me!!!!!!! I went into the bathroom crying and my best friend was right behind me!!!! i told her what happened and she told me she was going to kill him for hurting me!!!! I told her it was ok but realistically it wasn't. I had all my best friends by my side for the rest of the day and everytime we saw them together as soon as he looked at me I rolled my eyes and walked away.
I went home that afternoon and I had found a razor under my bed. I cut myself, on the upper arm near my shoulder. I felt better after that even though it killed me to realize i was doing that.
I never really cared for him but the next day my ex came up to me and begged me to come back and be with him. I told him fine but this was his last chance. I loved him. We are still together to this day and he tells me he loves me all the time. I showed him the three cuts near my shoulder and he asked if it was because of him and I told him sort of.
He told me he would never hurt me again as long as I never hurt myself again. I told him deal and we got back together. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I showed him the scar the other day and he was dissapointed. He understood why I did it after I told him the whole story.(it was a pretty long story.)
He never dumped me and still loves me and knows whats going on with me so he can help me when I feel like I am going to cut myself again.


The author's comments:
Writing this has helped me vent a lot. I love writing.

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