Dear Wedgy,
Its that day. that day when my world slows. You know that day. My routine halts when it the marks of a calender lay on today. While they are in school I am trying not to tear knowing thoughts of you reappear this time of year.
Was it so long ago?
A few years that past.
A few years of watching us grow, your home improved and the people who were around you flourish and diminish. Years of rides and trip promised, of fun times, all ending in a single night.
No, it wasn't a single night but four mouths at least. four months of hiding the secret when we can see it in front of you. we weren't too young, we could see it as plain as you could. we are only your daughters, thirteen and eleven. I was your eldest, the one with a temper like yours. If it wasn't for you, a beautiful person would be lost. A story would never be written and a dance would never been shared but a beautiful person is lost. My father is gone. He smiled the last of his days at his eldest daughter of Thirteen, me. I don't think he knows how happy that made her. the smile of big white teeth, color rushing back into his cheeks that was now sunken. The pale blue rim of his eyes that narrowed in happiness, when so many days he looked like the end was near. he did not know his daughter would have that image forever in her mind, above any other image. That she would cherished it more than any memory of him. He had no idea this was the future, and I knew he wanted more cause I want more. I want it all to be a dream. But there are reasons why it happen and I cant change them, I wouldn't change them.
Its never a bad moment when someone asks about you, for i would say something glad, a compliment in past tense. when they ask why in past tense, I say with a simple modest sentence, He died. no words to describe how or when. its beside the fact, he died. Wife who misses him, daughters with brief memories, parents who wonder what if, they don't hear or know about it. The saxophone lies in a closet next to the cameras and brief case along with a leather jacket, warm and heavy. they remain there till we need them. To use, to remind, to relive. We are here, minds that occasionally dip into the river of memories, we forget as the years go on but the name and person will never be washed away.
On a January day we stay home and sleep. We lay our minds on the pillows and dream of car shows, airplanes, fishing and long trips. We think of memories of you and dreams to come, just like you wanted us too.

Your daughter


Alexis, Your Florida Peach