It wasn't a stupid crush, neither was I deep in love. I would describe it as simply having strong feelings for this special someone. I'm sure anyone with a soul and a heart can relate. It was a roughly big deal for me because it affected my everyday life. It wasn't what I chose to put myself through, but it was what my heart intended to do since it hurtfully fell so hard for her.

Many months I spent liking this girl wasn't just a waste of my time, but a loss of chances in meeting new people. After being rejected I should of moved on, but it didn't just easily work out for me that way. I would see her every day of the school year, and she looked more beautiful every day. In class, from just the corner of my eye she fulfilled my whole eye with blindness to everything else but her. Without wanting, anything that would go through my mind surrounded her. All the feelings I ever had for her were unintentional. My feelings deepened faster than water in a flood after a hurricane.

I had never been in a situation like the one I was stuck in. Everyone's advice went in through one ear and came out through the other. I was truly heartbroken for the very first time in my life. Having no experience in my situation complicated everything for me. Searching and searching for answers to why this was happening to me was useless. My emotions extended to whole new levels where I felt lost and alone. This was all new to me and I had to find a way to overcome everything that I was going through before there weren't any broken pieces of my heart left.

Nobody convinced me to let it go, until I finally decided to. It was one of the hardest things I had to ever do. I thought about her a whole lot, but knowing that I could never have her motivated me to get over it. Every time I would see her stunningly gorgeous self, I honestly felt a straightjacket feeling that kept me from thinking any good thoughts about her. The beginning of this process was the most hurtful, but after it was just a little easier. Never had I been so anxious to get to the end of a mission.

This whole situation changed me a lot. I see many things differently than before. Most of all, I was left scarred. Afraid to fall for the wrong person again gives me the creeps. Not again I hope to go through it again, neither do I wish it for anyone else. It's tougher than physical pain and it tears holes in you in which you are uncertain if they will ever be covered back to normal.