It isn't most family situations where the youngest kid has to take care of the oldest, but that's how it is in my family. My sister, Madison, was born with Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, better known as ACC. When I was younger I learned that she is missing the bridge in between her left and right side of the brain so now both sides cannot communicate with each other. This has caused her to be non-verbal and also to have some difficulties walking. 

            When we were younger I would notice people around us judging her for just being a little different. A lot of people would give her a dirty look or whisper to their friends.  I understood that some younger kids might not understand but I saw a lot of adults were doing it too. I was shocked as a young girl that all of these people were not used to seeing someone different from them because it was so normal to me. It all really made me start to notice my surroundings and to never judge a book by its cover. She and I would be close as ever, we wanted to have sleepovers in each other's bedrooms every weekend and play outside if it was warm out. 

            When covid hit, my mom and dad got my sister an ipad which didn't realize at the time would change everything. Since my sister had mobility issues, she had it harder to exercise than the rest of us so she would sit on the couch most of the day and watch this ipad. Since My parents were essential workers they still had work, so around this time I had started to watch her for them. I would help her with her school's zoom calls and try to multitask on mine and hers. It was stressful for me because I wouldnt understand a lot of the things going on in all of my classes. I always told my parents I was fine watching her because we didn't have any other option. When we were done with school, I would invite my friends over to hangout because if we stayed in a small circle our parents wouldn't care. I think this is where my sister started to develop her anxiety. She had always hated really loud noises or when someone would have a loud voice and laugh but it never got really bad until one of my friends would be over almost every day who had a really loud voice and my sister couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. I felt bad for her but decided that if she was happier sitting in my parents bed then being downstairs with the rest of us then it was fine for me. 

          When we started to go back into school with masks, my sister was doing okay again because she was getting to see all of her friends and everything. My parents still had to work so everyday after school I would come home and watch her until it was time for them to come home. I would have to go right to practice after they got home and even was late a few times. I don't blame my parents for having to work a lot because that's how I am able to do everything I do like cheer and lacrosse,  but having a little 12 year old watching her 15 year old sister felt weird to me. I had started to get really sad after school because I had always been moving constantly. 

            Cheerleading and Lacrosse had become an escape from reality to me because at home I was either being yelled at for a bad grade or watching my sister, not being able to hangout with my friends. I would go home and be so tired I would have to go to bed at 8:30. My parents made me feel like a failure when I got a C one time because they said how I am supposed to be the smart one. I now understand that they were just tired from everything and stressed out but as a 11 year old I didn't understand why they didn't like me. I understand now that they were just trying their best and it's their first time living too. I'm beyond grateful for my sister and I'm proud to be the person I am because of her. Although the situation made me feel exhausted before, I am glad I got to experience it so that I can reflect and become a better person for myself and others.