SPLASH!

When I was little, I loved to watch the olympics. Now, I thought gymnastics was the best part, because that was my goal. I wanted to be a gymnast in the Olympics, but I also liked to watch diving. I thought it was cool, being able to dive from high up in the air, flipping all the way down to the water. However, I didn’t like heights. I remember I used to have to climb the rope at gymnastics, and I would be shaking waiting for my turn; since we were told a story of a girl who slipped from the top of the rope and broke her back. And what if that would be me? What if I fell from the top of the rope and nothing was under me? 

When I was 13, I quit gymnastics and switched to diving. I love diving. I love the bitter taste of the water when it gets in your mouth ( well, not really, it’s kind of gross ). I love the feeling of ripping the water. I love the rough feeling of the boards under your feet. The day I joined a club team I looked up at the platforms, and swore I would never jump off the 10m (10m = 33ft or 3 high dives + 1 low dive), and never dive higher than 3m. I watched a girl, with her tall lithe figure do a handstand dive off the 10m, and as someone terrified of heights, who didn't even like jumping off the high dive at the pool, there was no way I was going to do that. 

Maybe 8 months later, I went to practice and our coach said everyone was going to learn a new dive off platform. When he was telling everyone there new dive it was like back dive off 3m, or Front 1 ½. And I was standing there thinking. Ok, you can do this! Then it was my turn.

“ Maura you can do a handstand right?”

“Yes?” I said. Obviously, I could do a handstand.

“Perfect! I want you to learn a handstand dive off the 5m!”

“ Ummm, really?”

“Yeah it will be great!” Now, In my head, I was thinking, ok this guy is crazy, how does this even work? But, I started off on the 1m platform, and I did a handstand, then fell into the water. This worked great! It was a ton of fun and supper simple; just do a handstand and fall! Then, I went and did it on the 3m platform, (3m = pool high dive)  and I thought to myself, ‘I’ve got this!’ handstand, and fall to your feet, but you don’t bend your back as much so you don't go over. I did this for a while trying to put off going to 5m (5m = high dive + 2 low dives) but eventually I convinced myself to try. 

My heart sounded like it was humming, it was beating so fast, and my legs were shaking as I was walking up the stairs. As the bubbles came up from below I knew if I didn’t go in that very second, I was never going to. So I kicked up, and fell over, slowly tipping then flipping over into the dive, but not coming out quick enough, since I smacked my legs on the water. Now in diving, when someone smacks, it's customary for everyone to start clapping, which is always really awkward for the person who did smack, but also makes you feel better. It shows that these people care for you, and understand. So, as I came out of the water to a bunch of applause I started feeling better, assuming my coach would say ‘hey, good try! Why don’t you be done for today.

But not me! This guy comes up to me and goes, “ Hey, good try! Why don’t you try it on 7m because you were a little short This way, you’ll have some more time to dive it in,” Now my brain was going, ok buddy, can we go get your eyes checked, I will absolutely never be diving that high. So we compromised, and decided I would only do one today. So, I went to do the dive on 7m (7m = 2 high dives + 1 low dive, approximately a 2 story house).

Now walking up to the 5m platform my legs were shaking, but going up to 7m, they were almost vibrating they were shaking so hard. I was trembling at the thought of doing the dive, and as I took every step my brain was telling me I was absolutely insane, and I should go down the stairs, and be done, and not do this, and don’t look down, and that I was probably going to die. But then there was a tiny bit that was like, this is going to be so fun!! 

Now, my genius brain did look down the moment I reached the top, and then it took a good 5 minutes of contemplating in my head. You got this, you're going to die, keep going, turn around and walk down the stairs, this will be easier than 5, I think you're insane. Finally, I let the crazy part of my brain win, and decided I was going to do the dive. 

So, I walked up to the edge, and my coach called, “7m!” And that was my chance. I kicked up, and did not hold the handstand at all, and fell over. I piked around and lined up, and SPLASH! I was just slightly over, but I had done it! When I came out of the water I noticed I was gasping for breath. The moment that I got out and watched the video, I had officially decided that I was bananas, but that crazy part of me, is what makes me, me. My shaky nerves are what tries to keep me alive. And my fear of heights. 

Is gone.