“Why do you even care?” This question is one that circles back through my mind at least once a day. I have always been a caring person, but sometimes I find myself caring a little too much for people who may not be deserving. Being caring is seen as a positive quality, but like anything, too much may become negative. 

Caring too much can turn into an exhausting loop of overthinking, and feeling like you are responsible for helping others at all times. I have learned to not worry as much about everything that goes on around me, but it is hard to not care at all. I love hearing all about my closest friends' days. I want to hear their roller coaster of a day and help in any way I can, even if it’s just being there to listen. 

Any time I do anything that upsets anyone, intentional or accidental, the feeling haunts me for days. I always rethink the moment, and think to myself how could I be so stupid? Even if it was something that was not a big deal, or simply a misunderstanding I can’t help but feel horrible and have to make it up to them as soon as possible. 

I feel like I care more about what strangers think of me than what people I actually know think of me. People that know me know the real me and can actually judge me based on who I am. But the random girl sitting a row back in study hall that now thinks I am a mean person because she heard something I said completely out of context, is what will always bother me the most. Based on one sentence this person now has a negative view of me that isn’t even true, but I don’t know if I will ever have the opportunity to change it.

I may seem like a strong girl who never lets her emotions show and doesn’t care about much at all. But I do this to protect myself from being hurt like I have in the past. I will do anything to avoid the gut-wrenching feelings I use to have. I love and hate that I care so much; it is a blessing and a curse. 

When people remember me, they will always think of me as the girl who cared maybe a little too much. While I am working on caring less about things that I shouldn't let bother me, it is still a significant characteristic I think I will always have.