No One Lives Forever  

January 2023, I woke up at my friend's house with a text from my dad telling me he needs to pick me up now. Like anyone's normal reaction, I started to freak out because I thought I was in trouble. I’ve received text messages like that before and the messages never have a good outcome. I reply with an “okay" and “when will you be here”. My dad is there in just a short twenty minutes. I get in the car, preparing myself for anything I’m about to hear. In my mind, i’m thinking of everything I've done wrong in the past couple months. He looks at me as i'm staring, and he tells me "Melissa passed away early this morning”. I was not prepared for that. My stomach plumated. I always thought that she wasn’t going to die young or anyone in my family for that matter. I mean, that doesn’t happen to us. My mom won’t die young and Melissa wasn’t supposed to either. They’ll grow old with us and pass with all family around. I soon realized thats not reality. It was a huge wakeup call that anything could happen at any time. The first thing that came to mind was Bell and Ryan. I couldn’t even imagine what was going on with Bell, who was at home when she passed, but even more I was worried about Ryan who was so close with his mom, and he was at his dads house for the weekend. I look out the window of the car and prepare to go see them. 

In early February 2020, my aunt and uncle, Melissa and Chris, had their wedding. It was a beautiful and small wedding with pretty colors and amazing people. Melissas long, thick hair looked gorgeous with her poofy white dress. Everyone was having fun and celebrating the newly weds. Everything seemed right and perfect in the moment. Barely a month later my mom informed me that Melissas had breast cancer. I was in shock. Not even a month ago we were celebrating their new life together, and now we’re fearing it. I feared for the long journey for Melissa, that was soon to start. I feared for Ryan, Chris, Hailey, and Bell. I immediately thought of the worst, yet I felt like Melissa could beat this. I mean she has too. Everything works out in the end, and everything happens for a reason. This will be a milestone in her life and she’ll keep living. I can’t even bear the thought of us living without our parents so young. Everytime her cancer was brought up, all I could do was think of her kids and how that could be me. My mom  being sick and having the chance of her not being here. Melissa underwent chemo treatments after chemo treatments. Throughout Covid, my mom and Melissa made a small business designing clothes, cups, necklaces, etc. They made shirts for people, sold things at farmers market, and were just having fun with their business. She was battling, just like every other cancer patient; and she was battling hard. She was kicking cancer in the butt, and she was always out and about with all family. 

Melissa was told that the cancer was gone. Of course, like all cancer patients, there is that risk of it coming back. But I knew she beat it. Like who actually had the thought that she was going to pass so soon. She has kids in middle school and one who just graduated not to long ago. Everyone was cautious though. Everyone didn’t really use the word “cured”. Melissa still went to her visits, and was very aware what could be found at any time. Even though she was going through this, her kids were her top priority. Especially the younger ones. She took me and Bell everywhere, got us food and snacks all the time, and did the same with Ryan. Covid lockdown was hard enough, but on a constant battle with cancer, and two children stuck at home was even harder. So when everyone got the news, there was that tiny relief before the new worry set in. But anyone can say, those moments of relief did feel good. 

All the years leading up to our present time now, is a blur for me. I do distinctly remember the coughing. A little while later after Melissa was cleared, there was some concern. She was coughing a lot, and it wasn’t like a normal cough when someone is sick, it was like their coughing so hard they can’t breath. She had cancer again. It spread a lot throughout her body, and one place was her lungs. This second time around was more depressing than the first, because I could just see how drained and tired she was. She rarely talked about her cancer, even less about what would happen if she were to pass. She didnt want to, she couldn’t. She still had her kids lives to see, she still had her life to live. I never accepted the fact that she was going to pass. I was going to never accept it unless it actually happened. But I was expecting it. Someone so young like Ryan and Bell can’t grow up without their mother, it’s just not right. Towards the last month of the year, Melissa was so drained and so tired, all we could do was keep her company and give her some comfort. We all spent Christmas of 2022 together, but it felt so off without Melissa's voice or laughter. She was to weak to barely smile. She didn’t make us Christmas tshirts, or yell for all the cousins the take a picture. All we had to do was cherish this moment because most of us knew she wasn’t going to be here forever. 

Just a short two weeks after christmas, I'm on my way to my friends house. Right before I left I said hi to Chris, Melissa, Bell, and my Grandpa at my Grandpas house. That last image of Melissa was different. She was covered in so many blankets almost sleeping in the recliner. I said hi like nothing else and left. I get to my friends house and have so much fun, and I'm in such a good mood. When my dad picks me up and i'm broke the news just that morning after, all I can do is think. I couldn’t even cry. All I did was think. I thought of that last time I saw her. I thought how can Ryan and Bell keep living. It really shifted my mind, and I thought “my moms not going to live forever”. All I could think about was there is a chance that my mom won’t come home tonight. There’s a chance when she goes to the doctor, she could have a disease or an illness. No one lives forever, its so rare to have the perfect life of growing old, seeing their children have children. Help them through the mistakes when their older, babysit, just sit and talk. I realized not everything works out in the end. Not everything happens for a reason. This did not work out in the end. Melissa is gone. Bell, Ryan, and Hailey are without a mother, and Chris is without a wife. Not everything happens for a reason. If it does, what was the reason? What was the reason that a life was taken so young. Thinking about the future, will it actually happen, and who will be in it?