I remember the time when we got mail in our mailbox about an extraordinary school. There was a note that said that I qualified to enroll. This school was Portola. I originally planned to go to a regular middle school, like most people, very close to my home. I asked myself, do I go to Portola or to Leconte? I honestly really wanted to go to Leconte. My mother told me how beneficial Portola would be for my future. I remember fully disagreeing with her and telling her that the two schools didn’t have a difference. My mother told me that the decision was final and that I was going to Portola. I remember crying, though, I felt better when she told me that I could switch to Leconte if I didn’t like Portola. Little did I know that this one decision will change my life forever. However, before that was the painful elementary school experience.

It was the summer of 2015, my heart was pounding, my adrenaline was rising, and my mouth was as dry as sandpaper. As I entered the classroom with no one to talk to, my anxiety spiked and it flowed through my veins. As I walked to my assigned chair, I felt like I was going to pass out. For a while, I didn’t say a single word to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary, until it was recess. I walked around the yard alone and then I saw another student approaching from a distance. It was a guy named Corey. “Hello,” he said. “Hi,” I said shyly. Our conversation took off. We talked our hearts out and he became a very close friend. The only friend that I could talk to for the next three years. Then, came middle school where I was back at square one with no friend. With no one to talk to.

In 2018, I started my first year in Portola. The extreme burden of having such undeveloped social skills started to take a big toll on me. This was when I thought that enough was enough. I thought of all the times my parents told me to not care about what other people think, to just be yourself, and to not be shy. At school, I forced myself to not think about the negative outcomes that could possibly occur and tried my best to make new friends. I remember in my science class, a student was sitting alone at a table just looking around the whole classroom and not talking to anyone. I remember really wanting to talk to him. I was hesitant at first, but I ended up getting the courage to stand up and move to his table. This student’s name was Mk.

At that point in my life, I started gaining confidence. Unlike ever before I wasn’t dependent on anyone to help me with my struggles. I became a stronger and independent person. Outside of school, I started making friends in the church. They helped me unlock a passion in music and dancing. They inspired me to play the drums and to dance in front of the many people in my church. Through the courage I obtained to talk to the other youth in my church, I found hobbies that I never thought would be fun. For once in my life, I have people to look up to and I was the one starting the conversation. I was the conversation starter.

After all the painful years of struggling with shyness, I finally overcame this weakness that was holding me back my whole life. It’s horrifying to think about what would’ve happened to me if I never stepped out of my comfort zone and talked to people. Would I have been all alone throughout all of middle school? This thought still comes up in my mind to this day. If I did, then I would surely be alone in high school which, according to my brother, are the years where you are supposed to be having fun. So my aspiration is to help people who struggle with shyness. My advice would be to break that barrier of fear.