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It was 11:16 am, Wednesday morning, January 21st, 2004. There I was, brought into this alarming floating rock, also known as Earth. I don’t remember being born or opening my eyes for the first time, though I know it must have been something. All of these random googly eyes looking down at my miniature baby face while I scream, probably wanting to go back to where I came from. Little did I know, a whole life awaits for this one little creature, me.
I was in second grade when I left what I knew as “home”, to go live with my grandparents and dad. I left behind my two half brothers, though I don’t refer to them as “half” brothers. But I had a better opportunity for a good and happy life, off I went, and off my brothers went, leaving my mother with her demons. I didn’t realize this move of locations would ultimately change my life and build the person I am today. I held a grudge against my dad for making me move with him, I had to change schools, make new friends, it seemed so difficult at the time.
“You're going to SouthWood Glen”! Exclaimed my grandma with joy, “that’s where your Aunt went to elementary school”! Yay, a whole new school, new people, new location, yip yip hooray. I was not very enthusiastic at the time. My first day is a blur, though I do remember the feelings that went through my eight year old body as I walked through the main doors for the first time. My palms were all sweaty as my grandma assorted me to the office, it was the middle of the school year. A nice office lady gave me a cordial half smile, right this way Amani, she says my name and my grandma vanishes out the doors. Here we go I think to myself. Oh to be that age again. As I walked down the halls, I realized how neat and shiny this school was. I could see my reflection as I walked on the floors, kind of reminded me of a doctor's office, the way the school's scent lingered towards my nostrils.
Time passed, and it almost felt like I never even transferred schools. I had made many friends, we would play kickball or gravel monster on the playground. “Anna, Anna, wait for me” I yelled in the hall. Anna was my elementary school best friend. When I looked at her to talk my eyes went over her head, she had very soft golden blond hair and big green eyes. We were irreparable, at least in that time period.
Life was moving fast, quicker than i realized, my life changed and I was older, in a different mindset. Middle school. Of course I was scared, I walked through those doors, in the place I met who was soon my best friend. Juliana. This friendship was filled with sleepovers, endless laughs, gossip, boys, tears, and almost every other emotion you can think of. “ Lets go to Culvers” Juliana persuaded me to go. There we would walk from her house up the street, run across the fast moving cars and into the parking lot where we’d order Chicken Tenders, fries, and a free ice cream. Culvers was our spot. Though everything comes to an end, sooner or later.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh”. “Where is Juliana, I need to find her”. Let's just say my first day of high school was interesting. *Pulls out phone*. “Ding”, I look down at my shining screen as I stand by very polished grey lockers. *Where are you* I read a message from Juliana. “Oh my god” I thought to myself. She was supposed to meet me by these lockers I thought to myself. * I am by the grey lockers…..* I drift off typing as I look up to a smiling face in front of me. “ I’m so scared”. Juliana stands in front of me. “Don’t worry we got this, we just have to get through this year in a positive manner” I said. Juliana chuckles as she walks off towards the saber center. I roll my eyes unbothered.
My days were on repeat, waking up, going to school, coming home, doing homework, then the same thing after that. I wasn’t very pleased with how I went about my daily routine. I skipped class, didn’t care about my grades, and slowly, I was falling down a drain. Lost.
“Why do you have an F in your classes, you don’t do anything, you're so irresponsible” My dad constantly lectured me. I was immature and didn’t know exactly what I wanted in life. Then something happened that changed my life in a way I never thought possible.
Covid-19, also known as the CoronaVirus. Struck across the world. A term I wasn’t very familiar with, became a word in everyone’s vocabulary. Quarantine. Virtual school. Yay. I wasn’t very excited to not go to school, though it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
A lot of time passed, 2020, I discovered spirituality, and what it means to be on this Earth, as a human being. I used my knowledge and applied it to my life, little by little, every day, I grew as a person mentaly. I learned my worth. In a place that was once dark, it is now light.
I think I understand, I thought to myself. I may not understand why things happened in my life the way they did, though I realized, it made me who I am today. It made me stronger, wiser, more grateful, and impartial to the world around me. “ I am beautiful” “ I am whole” “ I am worthy”. Everyday, on repeat, though it doesn’t have to be that way. My reality is what I Make it.