Have you ever thought about what the term love means to you? One may say love is the feelings that are shared between a husband and wife or a boyfriend and girlfriend. Another might say that love is the feelings they share for their pet. According to Webster’s Dictionary, love is the strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Love can be shown through just a quick five-minute phone call to see how you are doing or a short text message that shows they are thinking about you. To me, love is the feeling that I felt when the people who have been there since my first days left me for college, my sister, Alexis and my brother, Cameron.  

Growing up, I had no idea that one day both Alexis and Cameron would turn into the two biggest role models in my life. I had no idea that their shoulders would be the shoulders I would cry on, and their hugs would be the ones that would comfort me most. I had no idea that the memories I shared with them would be some of the best moments in my entire life. I simply thought they would be my two older siblings who would fight with me and set the standards for how I am supposed to act as I grow older. As I grew up, the lifestyle of being an only child always seemed like the best life ever. I would have no one to fight with, no one to judge me, and no one to bother me all the time. What I never ever thought about were the memories, guaranteed friendships, and love I would miss out on with being an only child. Many people say having siblings are similar to being to given two automatic best friends, and I could not agree with this statement more. Another thing I had never thought of was having a friendship taken away for 4 years while they went off to college. I never imagined how it would be having to see my sister go just over 100 miles away and I certainly never imagined the sadness of seeing my brother go off almost 1,000 miles away from me. The thought never occurred to me that the 10 years of childhood memories would eventually have to end because we would all grow up and go our separate ways. It never occurred to me that seeing them every other week or every other month would eventually be the new normal, and my idea of love would now have to be shown in different ways.

With my sister leaving for college first, I had never felt this feeling before. I had never felt the pain of missing someone who I was used to seeing every day. Although she was only 100 miles away at LSU, it felt like she was thousands of miles away. I was used to always having my loved ones so close to me, I was not used to experiencing this feeling. Talking on the phone, rather than talking in person and seeing her only every other weekend, rather than every day had become the new normal. It was like having your favorite toy as a child break, and not being able to play with it every day. I no longer had that friend right down the hall who was always there for me with advice or simply just a hug. I would now have to text her or call her to talk to her at a time that's convenient for her. At this time, I had realized that love was now shown through phone calls and text messages rather than hugs and kisses.

With my brother going off to college, I had already experienced the feeling once, so I thought I knew what to expect. But, I was proven wrong. This time was much worse because going across the country to South Bend, Indiana to attend the University of Notre Dame. Now, instead of seeing him every day, I would be lucky if I was able to see him once a semester. Although I was so proud of his accomplishments, I could not stand to see him go so far away from my family and I. With seeing my sister almost every other weekend, this was typically normal for me, but this normal had now changed. The new normal was seeing my brother once or twice a semester, and this seemed impossible to get through. It also had not occurred to me that he would be finding jobs in different cities after college, and the chances of him returning back to New Orleans right after school had become very small. How was I supposed to go that long without seeing him when I used to see him every single day? How were family dinners still going to be complete without having all five family members sitting around the dinner table? It is many of the small things that I took for granted every day that I now miss most with him being away. I would now have to facetime him or text him to help me with the school work that I was confused on; instead of being able to just walk right up the stairs and knock on his door. All of the times he would drive me to my friend's house, or to pick up food were no longer going to happen. Our memories would now have to be made in the few months he would be home each year, and my love for him would have to be conveyed in new ways rather than giving him a hug or just going to his room and talking to him for a few minutes.

With having both siblings go off to college, my definition of love was changed. Love was not just giving that person a hug every day. Love had changed to calling them to wish them good luck on their test or just to check in to see how the college life was going. Love was now facetime calls to get advice instead of sitting in bed till midnight talking about situations. Love was now something that was harder to obtain, but one thing did not change. The amount of love I had for them. The amount of love I shared for each of them certainly did not lessen as both my brother and sister left me to go off to college.