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Being a Woman
“A girl should never be a president, her period could affect the way she would run the country”
“Why are you dressed like that? You look like a ho”
“Come on, just touch it once. I promise you will like it”
“Should you really be eating that?”
“I mean, we could say politically correct that look doesn’t matter, but the look obviously matters” said to a female news reporter.
How did those quotes make you feel? Not a good feeling, huh? All of these words have been said to me throughout my lifetime, by my father, brother, mother, exes, and friends. Also, a president who I will never call “my president”.
When I was in fifth grade, I was the first girl in my grade to get their period. I did not know what it was; I thought something was wrong with me. I asked my mother about it and she said, “Today, honey, you have officially became a woman”. Those words meant a lot to me because I knew it meant that I was important. I was so excited, I ran to my dad and gave him the biggest hug and said “Dad, guess what?! I got my period” He said, “Oh great, now I have a little monster running around”
Those words tore me apart because all of sudden I did not feel like I was important enough. I felt like being a woman was like being a nuisance. Don’t get me wrong, I love my father. He has done everything to help support this family and helped me when I was downhearted. But he hasn’t always been supportive, me being a Democrat and him being a Republican. We just have different views on life, and sometimes we can agree on somethings, but we are just two different people.
Since I was little, my mother would pick out my clothes for school. She would usually dress me in a tracksuit and my all-white tennis shoes. When I hit middle school, I did not like the clothes she made me wear. I wanted to wear ripped jeans, a cute shirt, and anything other than those white tennis shoes. She did not like that, maybe it was because I was growing up or maybe it was not her way of dressing me, but she was always the one to tell me to change if it got way out of hand. Even my brother called me a ho one time because I was wearing a crop-top, showing just a little bit of my stomach. I do not think he meant to hurt me but it sure did. I have not had sex or done anything with a guy; I haven’t sent nudes or shown my body off in anyway to try and get a guy to notice me. So why does showing my belly-button make me a ho? When I wear shorts that are not below the knee cap, why do people think I am trying to get it? Anything I can wear, I will always get judged for it.
I have had some boyfriends in the past, some were sweet, but some were rude and arrogant. There was this one time with this guy-let’s just say his name was Louie-he was probably the worst of all of them. Louie was athletic and kind of attractive. I was only a freshman and he was a junior, it seemed crazy to me that he could possibly want to be with me, because I was not one of the super popular girls, but a bunch of my friends were cheerleaders or gorgeous. Louie and I met in school, we sang in chorus together. One day, he asked for my phone number and from then on, we were constantly talking or texting. Then came the day when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes, because he was cute and a junior, and also I am sure my friends would have killed me if I didn’t say yes. It was only a couple of weeks when one of my friends was having a little house party, there was alcohol, but I did not want to drink because I was under-aged and I thought it was super stupid to get drunk when I was only 15. I was only there because Louie wanted me to be. Later on in the night, Louie, intoxicated, wanted to me to see something upstairs, I was not stupid, I knew exactly what he wanted. I knew I did not want to do anything sexual because again, I was 15 and I was not chill with anything of that nature. I told him I was good, just chilling outside, so Louie just sat right next to me, a little too close. He put his hand, a little close to my no-no square, I kept pushing his hand off of me. He tried kissing me and telling how hot I was. I was not having it. All of a sudden, he started yelling at me, “Come on, we are dating, we are supposed to do this stuff”
As my anger grew, “Louie, I am not that type of girl. I never will be.”
“That is f***ing stupid. I would have never asked you out if I knew you were going to be such a prude.”
After he said that, I just left because I was not going to stand for that. I told my sister to come and pick me up. I told her what happened, and I saw her face fall, full of anger and sadness, she told something that night that was the true start of my realization that I must try and change the way females are treated so differently. She told me, “We are women, we have to fight harder than boys. Yes, the fight is hard, but if you truly believe that you can change something, you can. Keep fighting the fight.” From that day forward and forever, I will never stop fighting for something that is right.
I am 5 foot and I am kind of chubby, I have always tried eating right and exercising but I do love the sweets so what can you do? I know that people will tell me “If you keep exercising then you won’t be chubby”, but some days after school, I don’t want to workout because I am tired from my classes and I want to take a nap. Some of you might relate, some night not, but that is okay. We all have different opinions about everything, which I think is good. Some people tend to not wanting to listen to others and trying to force down their opinion down the other’s throat. People tell me I should not wear crop tops because it shows too much of flabby skin, I am not kidding I have heard these kinds of things. People tell me I should not be wearing sleeveless shirts because my arms are not toned. People tell me that I should not show a lot of leg because cellulite is ugly and gross, even when cellulite is natural. Some days, it gets harder and harder to look at myself in the mirror because I do not want to see what they see. Then I realize something, I could not honestly give a crap. People can say what they want about me, but I can just turn the other cheek and be the better person. I am done with that fact the women and men can be judged for the way they look, all because society has set up this overly done body image that makes us look like a fake barbie doll, unless you want to look like that, it is okay, but many other people in this whole universe do not want to look like that.
My society is awful, to say blatantly. It stands with conforming and doing a lot to put us in a place of thinking bad about ourselves. What I think makes my society different, is that we are trying to change, changing the way people think about society. We are trying to make a difference. Women are marching in the streets, resisting the presidency of a guy who should not be president. Women are marching for other women who struggle in this day and age, like women of color, women of LGBTQ communites, women of diverse faiths and ages, indigenous women, disabled women, and low-income women. All of these women have inspired me to say that I am proud to have my period. I am proud to dress however I want to dress. I am proud for my right to say yes or no. I am proud of my body. I am proud to call myself a woman.
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I wish we can be friends.