Life | Teen Ink

Life

December 14, 2018
By Anonymous

Everyone just keeps going and going they never stop. They don’t stop to look at how the wind hit the trees or how the lyrics fit the song. They just look at the outcome for what? For completion? We will never see the four leaf clover or we will see just that, and look right over it like its an ordinary leaf. An ordinary life they say nothing’s ever “out of place or unique”. it’s just go to school to go to work to make money to fulfill your family and pay taxes and care for your children and to “live the American dream.” Money makes you happy right? Wrong. It’s never go on a walk through the mountains with an old friend or explore the Grand Canyon like it’s your last hour of the day cause the response will always be I have things to do places to be. But really did you not know that in 5 years you will still be living that life saying you have “ things to do” but in all seriousness you could die the next day without living your life to your full potential. You could chase the stars all you want but you will never grab hold of them. You can see beyond but still be blind. You can hear everything and still be deaf. What we do in this moment right now is what can make or break the future. What if there is no future what if all you’re wondering in your head is how do I get out of this whole that I buried myself so deep in. We keep worrying and worrying. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said wow I’m beautiful. Not because of what you see but remember we see with our heart not our eyes. It’s like when you say “ I love you” so many people expect that saying throughout the day rather it’s in person or over text. We overuse I love you like it’s ripping a bandage off so easy, so simple. So I hope what you see is beautiful cause every single person is beyond what they see with their eyes. It’s beyond the horizons, skylights, clouds, moon. And those sunsets that you watch at the end of the night. everything you feel as of right now and do is powerful and what is power it’s beauty. You’re beautiful take time for yourself and always listen and see with your heart never take things or people for granted and be the best version of yourself.


The author's comments:

I wrote this, when I was going through a dark time 


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1 comment.


antonyp said...
on Jan. 6 2019 at 10:33 pm
antonyp, West Chester, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Thanks for sharing. I thought your narrative was interesting and almost poetic however, as part of a classroom assignment I have a few pointers. The main issue involves the organization of ideas. I realize your work is entitled “Life,” but I felt like you started with one topic and finished with another.

I also see some minor grammatical and punctuation errors. For example, “They don’t stop to look at how the wind hit the trees,” should be “… how the wind hits the trees.” It’s always good to proofread your writings several times. It is sometimes useful to read your work backwards to find these types of errors.

Example 2: “An ordinary life they say nothing’s ever “out of place or unique”. it’s just go to school to go to work to make money to fulfill your family and pay taxes and care for your children and to “live the American dream.”
Revision: In an ordinary life they say nothing’s ever “out of place or unique.” It’s just go to school, then go to work to make money in order to fulfill your family, pay taxes, care for your children, and “live the American dream.”
After the above paragraph you need to start a new paragraph.

Example 3: “Money makes you happy right? Wrong. It’s never go on a walk through the mountains with an old friend or explore the Grand Canyon like it’s your last hour of the day cause the response will always be I have things to do places to be."

Although questions with answers that follow immediately keep the reader interested, it could still use a revision with spacing.

Revision:
Money makes you happy right?

Wrong.

Money cannot take the place of going on a walk through the mountains with an old friend or exploring the Grand Canyon as if it’s your last hour of the day.

The above sentence needs some clarification about time and money before you go on to the next topic.

You have many ideas here, but they can be expanded and could use more detail. The “ripping off a bandage” and “chasing the stars but never grasp them” descriptions were good techniques, the reader can almost feel and imagine it. You could easily do more with the scene descriptions about the leaf, mountains and worrying.

Thanks again you for sharing. You have some good writing potential. I really like the positive message at the end. Keep on writing.