I went to my mom one day when she asked me to go to a movie and I said, "I'm not feeling good." Not knowing what that feeling was, thinking I was just tired from lack of sleep. I was wrong. Since that day, I've had the worst moments of my life.

I've never felt so deep inside myself that I thought I could never climb out from my fear of falling of the long splintered sides of the ladder that should've brung me back to safety. No matter how hard I tried the rungs kept breaking, leaving me cold and alone.

Those times back then when I wondered what I did for everybody to hate me like they did. I should've never been born, a mistake in gods' path I thought to myself. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I only noticed how disgusting and horrible I was inside and outside, wanted to spit on my own grave at that point. There was no way I could think any clearer.

Months later I kept feeling this way, blaming the marks on my arm from a cat, but my friends knew that I never had a cat, that cat was me scratching away at my skin like a lottery ticket, tearing it like a bad report card you're trying to hide from your parents.

Someone found out, and they told the teachers, who told the counselor, who told my mom. It was about time. They pulled me down for a chat about the non-existent cat and said to me, "Do you want to kill yourself?" I looked at the woman with beady eyes and nodded, because it was true. It went on from there.

Half a year later I came back to see my long gone friends. They all looked happy while chatting away and laughing at an unknown subject. I came in and they all jumped up and yelled "Alex! We missed you!" They ran up to me and gave me a group hug, I trying to object, but letting them since it was the least I could do. They all asked me where I've been, and I said Narnia, because I thought it would somehow fix the situation. It did.

Even more time later I found out people cared about me, and that people I trusted for so long have lied. Good things always end in devastation. I realized people cared enough about me to ask me if I was okay, to offer me candies, call the teacher when I wasn't feeling okay. I wish I were like that. But I have to work towards it with ease.

People loved me, and I was too dumb to realize it. I never knew over the thought that I was so terrible and revolting. But I wasn't. I still remember when people told me "You're just a bit sad, nothing bad". They need to know there is more, that's just the beginning my friend, and many other people have it worse than you have ever seen on TV.

If you are reading this, know that you are worth something, we all are. Just don't miss your chance of getting to save someones' life.