It was 5:30 am, April 7 2016 when one of the most painful days of my life began. It was a school morning I woke to my phones incessant screams in its attempt to wake me up. I slouched to the side of my bed and lifted my numb body against its will. I stumbled into the hallway so I could get in to the shower. On my way to the shower I spotted Taz, my little fuzzy furry feline best friend. I specifically noticed him because I usually had to push this 30 pound cat off my body every morning as if it was a daily routine. Worried thoughts began to form and jumble in my head. There must be something wrong with him. Why is he drooling? Why do his eyes look like this? What's wrong with him?

I knelt down to him to get a closer look. He seemed cold towards me but I can sense he just doesn't feel good; but why? My mom came out of her room clearly groggy in her pajamas.  She gives me a quizzical look then continues to say “What are you doing”

I turned to her and just give her a look and it's like she understood something wasn't right like it was in the air, the elephant in the room. She leaned next to me and stroked Taz he didn't even acknowledge her presence he sat there unmoved. She spoke to him and asked him what was wrong as if he would really respond. She then tried to tell me he was fine just being lazy. I knew she was just saying that so I didn't worry and so I would hurry up and get ready for school. I never knew this would be the last time I saw him.

I ended up foolishly going to school that day. I was then called down to the office around 3rd period, I knew something wasn’t right.  I never got called down to the office I was what to be considered in today's world as a goody two shoes. I slowly made my way to the office and My mom was there she asked me if I wanted to go to see taz at the vets because she wasn't sure what was going to happen to him. I was in complete denial I wouldn't accept the fact that taz could possibly die so I said no. My mother continued to try and convince me to go with her and notioned towards the fact that this could be my last chance but I refused once again because I was being stubborn and acting as if I would see him at home later anyways because he was fine.

After school my dad picked me up he had bought me mcdonalds I knew something was wrong. I asked him why he did this and he replied with “ just being nice” On the way home I asked how taz was and asked if he was back home yet. He gave me a blank stare he didn't know what to say because he knew his next words would crush my entire being. He started “Ash I’m really sorry” At that moment I burst into tears. I completely lost it. It all felt so unfair how something so important to you could just get snatched away in the blink of an eye.

I began to feel overwhelmed with emotions such as anger and sadness but most of all regret. What if i would have just been there to stop him from eating the plant. What if we would have more considering of the fact taz ate the plants. What if we would have gotten him to the vet sooner. What if we took him to a more professional vet? Would have the outcome been any different if I would have been there? All of these questions remain in my head unanswered. My Mom, Dad, Sister and I ended up having a little funeral service for taz. We buried him and put up a little cross to celebrate his life and how much he meant to us.

When I look back on that day all I feel is regret. Taz was always there for me weather I was happy, sad, angry, sick, healthy no matter what he was always by my side. I was too selfish to do the same for him. I had thought it would be too painful to see him die like that but now I realize it's even worse just thinking about him having to go through that alone as if he was disowned. My biggest regret though is not being able to say my last goodbye to my bestfriend.