As I wake up in the morning I remember how weird it felt being a student in a foreign country. I spoke a foreign language and lived differently from the people around me. I asked myself, “Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” I look upon writers and authors to become who I think I am; I change my perspective often from what kind of books I read. Poetry, the genre has been stuck with me during my whole life. It is hard to find a man whose poems do not completely disappoint you, but I stumbled upon one and Charles Bukowski is the man I wish I could be.

I wish I could be the same guy I was two years ago, or at least recover what I lost in the transition from there to here. I had it all once: fortune, fame, but nothing satisfied. Now I am walking through dark hallways of fading memory. What takes so long to people that know who you are to identify you? I mourn still, think about everything I could be if the problem was solved in the way I wanted to, but even if the ambition that we have become real we wouldn't be able to enjoy it the right way. Sacrifice is what can change people completely; I have sacrifice my whole life to live somewhere that makes me truly happy.

I’ve trying to find myself in different people, places, activities, and social groups; I realize that I don’t need to belong to anybody, nor try to belong somewhere. We need to be proud of who we are, and what have we done in our lives. All we need to become greater leaders are mistakes. “Experience can dull. With most men experience is a series of mistakes; the more experience you have the less you know.” Bukowski said in one of his poems; he explains the bright side of what we believe would damage us. I have complete thousands of mistakes in this life, but in this precise time I am proud about my wrong choices; I am happy that I took the wrong path early in my life to know where not to it later on. We just need to let the things happen, therefore, life goes on like the river flows nice and stable.

So I asked myself why wrong people is always on the side were the winners are? And it’s because they already have been in their rock bottom, and they aren’t ashamed of making more mistakes. They just let the things happens no matter how rough things go; they try to handle every single detail. We are never ready to see who we are; our real self is made of past experiences and future goals. We don’t want to disappoint anyone, but we disappoint ourselves in the process of make someone else happy. We shall learn to be proud of our likes and dislikes, and takes the opportunities that life give us.

I have grew up in a different way than you. I have been completely done different achievements in life than you. We are not equal, but it's okay. We develop the things differently than the others, because we learn to sync our body with our brain, and make things work. During my lifetime a big issue has been my nationality; I was born salvadorean, but I really don’t belong to the world of El Salvador anymore. It took me time to realize that my heart belongs to America, however, I am still consider myself as a salvadorean guy.

Questioning ourselves is a major problem in our lives; but that's the only way we can learn who we are. I have heard existential questions all my life, but the only question I ask myself over and over again is “Who am I?”