It was early October, and I was just barely 15. School had just started about a month ago, and I was busy with fall softball as well. I didn’t notice the rapid changes to my body. I was sleeping all day, sometimes for 12 or 14 hours in a day. I stopped wanting to play softball, the drive that I had was completely gone. I didn’t realize what my body was doing, until it was too late. 

I had just arrived home from a date with my boyfriend. Everything was going great, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to pass out. My body was shaking profusely and I couldn’t seem to control my limbs. I was immediately carried up the stairs, to my mom, who didn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation at first. No one really did though.

I was thrusted into the car, on the way to drop my boyfriend off at home and  I just kept getting worse. My eyes started rolling in the back of my head, and I cried profusely out of both being scared and being in pure anguish.

We arrived at my boyfriends house, and as I got out of the car, I fell over. My legs would not work. They just felt like jello and I couldn’t seem to regain my footing. I was picked up and carried back into the car, in the hopes that once we got home, I would start feeling better, but I never did. I just kept getting worse. Eventually, my body went into full on contortions and convulsions. My mom rushed me to the hospital, where I had another seizure like episode.

From the hospital, I was rushed by ambulance to another hospital, where they had a working MRI machine. I arrived at the second hospital at 3am, not knowing where I was. Doctors kept rushing in, and I remember asking them what had happened, but none of them seemed to have an answer for me.  It wasn’t until later that morning, that I would find out what exactly was wrong with me.

Dystonia. I remember the doctors using this word, but I didn’t understand the severity of this condition at first. I was never fully told what Dystonia is, in fact it took extensive research for my family and I to finally understand just what having this disorder means. Dystonia, is a movement disorder that causes your muscles to contract randomly, and although it is not deadly, it is incredibly painful. It was because of this disorder that I had to miss much of my sophomore year of high school. I couldn’t play sports anymore, I was on loads of medicine that made me feel like a zombie. I wanted to just give up, but I didn’t.

I realized early on, that this was going to be a long, hard battle. All of the cards were stacked against me, and I felt like I had no one to turn to for help. It wasn’t until I started reaching out to others in the community, that I realized that others are going through the same thing. They might not have the same condition as me, but they fully understand what an illness can do to your and your families lives.

Through my journey, I have learned what true perseverance is. I have seen many people rise from the ashes and go on to be successful. I refuse to not let me be one of those people. I will make it. I will be a fighter.  I will survive.