As a child I was many things but shy was never an adjective anyone would have used to describe me. As I look into an old photo, that lack of shyness applied to the camera as well. The black lens and bright flash that comes with capturing a memory on film had never intimidated me, even at age four. I felt completely confident in my fluffy layers of tulle and the first heals I’d ever worn, which were made of a hard plastic. This photo was taken in two thousand three, early November, days before my fifth birthday and as usual I wanted all eyes on me. I feigned innocence with a smirk on my face and the tilt of my head and soaked up the attention like a sponge, and ten years later the little girl in that picture hasn’t changed much. The child in that photo is no stranger to me. I’m still as loud and as sure of myself now as I was back when I was naïve and had no insecurities.

I can only vaguely remember the day this picture was taken, but I have snippet memories of running around my driveway with my little shoes clicking on the pavement and tendrils of my curly brown hair unleashed from my ponytail and framing my face. I remember both my parents and our photographer all snapping photos with different cameras from different angles and how important I felt being the center of attention and having both parents dote on me. Having a mom that lived in another state and a Dad that worked a lot was not an easy endeavor. I grew up with a collection of babysitters and having my parents pay me their undivided attention for the hour that it took to collect their portraits was a tribute. But I didn’t have to bear it alone for too much longer, because in December of 2007 my baby brother was born. Going from being an only child to an older sibling is a huge adjustment. Everything that was mine was now also his. My playroom became his bedroom, and my parents became our parents. But after a while I learned to love that sharing. I loved having someone to protect and teach and if he was never born I would be a completely different person. I wouldn’t be as independent or as loyal of a person as I am today, and I love the person that I am today.

The person in the photo is me. And I can’t call them a stranger because they aren’t one. In one of my favorite books “The Outsiders”, a character quoted a poem. The quote was “stay gold Ponyboy”. This quote made a big impact on me. It means to not let the pressures and destruction of society taint the innocence and goodness you were born with, to not let anything change who you are and turn you into someone you don’t want to be. I believe that I have “stayed gold”. I believe that I am as good of a person now, as I was when I was at the untainted age I was in that picture, and I hope to stay that happy and confident for a much longer time. Even though this is a memoir, a record of events that have already happened, I’m going to add a prediction of what my future will enfold. I’m going to stay close to my family while balancing a celebrity career of writing novels and self-help books while also traveling the world contributing to every charity that I can be a part of. In conclusion, I hope to do that little girl proud.