Seventh grade was probably one of the worst years of my life. In May of 7th grade I was suspended for using my cell phone in class and taking photos, videos, and texting which was strictly against school policy. Stupidest mistake of my life. I remember the day we got caught, it was a Thursday, feeling this exhilaration and a sense of rebelliousness rushing through my body and my nervous system. I still can’t believe I thought I was cool for breaking the school’s rules.

My friends had been doing it for days and there I was standing on the outside looking in as they were laughing hysterically at funny photos and I was watching them feeling like I was no longer a part of the “cool kids” per say. Then one day while I was trying to engage in their conversations at lunch my friend convinced me to use my phone. I remember her saying to me, “Why the heck not? It’s so fun and it makes the school day way more enjoyable. Plus you’ll be cool like us.” So of course, the next day I was like yeah I’m bringing it and using it even though in the back of my head I had this lingering feeling and a voice telling me not to do it and it wouldn’t end well, but of course being a stupid and peer pressured girl, I didn’t listen.

I paraded into school the next morning feeling excited and confident that nothing would happen since nothing happened to my friends for weeks. As I waited outside the school steps that day getting ready to walk into class, I stood under the awning covering the entrance into school, aka my daytime jail, in a group of my friends standing there and texting. When my grumpy and always angry looking teacher stomped out I hid my phone right away and my face became as red as a tomato because he was standing three feet from me and I swear he had seen. My friends saw my face turn the same color as a firetruck and they told me I was just nervous and on alert. I agreed with them and blew it off in my head and walked into school that day ready to have some fun. And I did.

I recall sitting in Literature class, first period, not really dreading it as much as I usually did. Somehow I managed to still gather something from class that day and even though the blackboard in front of me had words written all over it, it was blank to me. I was lost in my phone, I sent a text to my friend and then I knew I had completed the first act of rebellion. Then the next two periods went by and everything was great and I was lost in the fun of technology. After 3rd period it was time for lunch. Everyone in the school sat outside during lunch. I would usually sit with some of my 8th grade friends and my other 7th grade friends at a table. The 8th graders never used their phones because they actually followed the rules. Wow, what a concept. So of course they looked at us like we were idiots and they kind of made me feel like an idiot. I honestly had no idea what they were thinking.

After lunch, little did I know, I was about to run into some big trouble and regret everything I had done that morning. All of a sudden during 4th period, an announcement came over the PA calling all of grade 7 into the gym immediately. My heart skipped a beat. My mouth opened and I knew; I knew in the back of my head that we were about to be busted. As I got out of my chair all I hoped for was that time would freeze. With each step climbed up the stairs, I felt my anxiety go up a level and the pit in my stomach grew deeper and deeper with the lingering thought of what was about to happen.

When I stepped into the gym and took a seat on the cold and uncomfortable wood floor there was this notion in my head that I was about to be expelled. Then our principal walked in and the whole gym went dead silent. I could feel her cold stare and the anger coming from her run through our bodies. Shoot, whatever was about to happen was not going to be good. Our principal started with saying how poorly behaved our grade was in general and that she wasn’t really surprised by our cell phone incident. Since we were all lined up in a straight row facing her she began eliminating people 1 by 1 from the left side down who in her mind would never use their phone in school, they were too “good”. Coincidentally my friends and I were the last 8 sitting down so when she got to us she stopped. Everyone else had left and it was us 8 facing our worst fear, getting yelled at by the principal. She began with telling us that she wasn’t surprised it was us and that we would be facing a huge consequence. She told us our consequence would be suspension. Well, I guess that was a little better than I had thought.

Our next step was to march up to her office and call our parents breaking the news that we would be serving an in-school suspension the next day. At that point I wasn’t as scared as I thought I would be. My heart was still pounding but for some reason I felt this calming sensation run through my body and I knew everything would be ok. I even smiled a little. As I waited patiently to pick up that phone and dial my mom, I was thinking about what I would say to her. My mom had no idea that we were using our phones and I was almost too ashamed to tell her so I was probably most nervous that my mom would yell at me which no one wants. Finally it was my turn to call and I slowly marched over to the phone and with each step I grew more nervous and felt tears slowly build up in my eyes, I told myself to suck it up and call her. When she picked up the phone I said “I’m suspended!” within seconds, my face cringing, and to my surprise all she said was “Okay. That’s stupid.” And I knew my mom didn’t care. I let out a huge sigh of relief and looked over at my principal sitting on her desk looking up at me and I knew she was mad because she wanted our parents to be mad at us and also give us a punishment at home. I laughed and took my seat across from her desk and patiently waited for everyone to finish making their calls.

The next day I suffered through the suspension. I had to go to church with my principal and sit there in shame and total regret. Of course the homily was about sin and why you shouldn’t commit it. Then the 8 of us had to go upstairs and spread out along the long hallway of offices and write a 5 paragraph essay reflecting on why we love God and then we proceeded to do extra work for each of our classes. It was so boring but I knew she was doing it to us because she was mad and now thinking back on it, we kind of deserved it. Worst 7 hours of my life. That Friday was complete torture.

Looking back on the situation, it was actually a good lesson for me. I learned to always stick to my gut and do what I think is right. Now I know that if I know doing something is wrong, I shouldn’t do it. My favorite mistake helped me realize that I need to be myself and not change just so others will accept me.