It was a Saturday afternoon as I jumped out of his parked minivan named Lori. We energetically walked up the parking lot and onto the playground. We began to play a rousing game of tag, jumping and sprinting from structure to structure breathlessly like hyperactive little kids. We both grew tired and eventually settled ourselves onto a stand up seesaw while transferring flirtatious giggles and giddy comments. Our laughter filled the chilly spring air as he asked, “Do you want to go for a stroll?” the lively wind diminished as I nervously responded, “Sure”.

We made our way to the trail battling the muddy terrain with our shoes. As we strolled down the soggy path, we exchanged each of our deepest secrets and uncertainties. We were alone in the woods with the exception of the occasional presence of chirping birds and the swaying of tree branches. Ahead of us was a weathered and worn wooden bench, which my eyes had become fixated on. He swiftly ran to it and sat down, asking me to join by patting the surface beside him. I sat down as he reached for my hand while we continued our conversation…

“Okay, just because I go to an all-girls Catholic school it doesn’t mean I’m as sheltered as you think...”

I said defensively. Pause. Then and there he gave me the look. The look is the facial expression on a boy’s face that is supposed to make a girl swoon according to cliché romantic comedies and catchy overplayed love songs. I had never received the look before and I made sure to file this moment in the memory cabinet of my mind. He trailed on with a smirk and a teasing glimmer in his eyes

“... I never said you were sheltered.”

Complete silence. For a second I forgot I was sitting on this neglected wooden bench and I forgot that I was surrounded by swishing trees and a damp trail of woodchips. I was too busy being mesmerized by my best friend. There was this long withstanding gaze between both sets of our eyes. The world turned black and then to light again as I had the sudden urge to open my eyes. I saw his lips were locked onto mine, and mine were pressed onto his. His eyes were closed AND OH MY GOD HE’S KISSING ME! A stream of anxious thoughts quickly flowed within the confines of my mind….how am I supposed to be doing this? What is happening? Wait, so this means he likes me, right?...and on and on and on did these questions drift. He pulled his face away from mine and gave me the look again. And then we went back at it. Eventually the kissing stopped and I quickly averted my back onto his lap. Looking up at him while he was looking down on me we began to carelessly laugh like there was no such thing as problems in the world.

Uncontrollable. 

I then began to notice all of the carvings on this sad excuse for a bench. All of the names and hearts drawn on uneasily existing without much legibility. I wondered if I was the only one to ever have her first kiss on this bench. And if the others had felt the same exhaustive rush of kinetic energy surge through their veins and into their literal hearts. There wasn’t much for me to say. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. The whirlwind began to settle as I realized I wasn’t the only one.

Time had seized, but the clock began to tick again as I turned on my phone and saw that I was late. Even though we were short on time we decided to walk back at our leisure. As we were making our way down the trail we began to playfully push each other back and forth. He then grabbed my arms and pretended to push me into a nearby pile of mud. I struggled while I unconvincingly said, “Pshhh I could totally take you.” He then reeled me in and I felt his arms around my waist as he gave me an embracing hug and apologetically said, “Now, we should probably go.” As we opened Lori’s doors I was still dumbstruck with confusion and wonder as she made her departure from the parking lot. And just like Lori I had no idea where I was heading but all I knew was this van was going somewhere as I popped an orange Tic Tac into my mouth.