It was the winter of 2010, and I was 11 years old and in the sixth grade.

My mother had had a lump on her head and she was going to the hospital to have it taken off. My brother and his girlfriend were coming in from Grand Rapids and Mom was supposed to be home that evening. My first thought that something may be wrong was when Mom didn’t come home that night.

Instead, she had to spend the night and I wasn’t told why that was. She came home the following morning when I was at school, and when I got home that day she looked sad and really tired.  Her head was heavily bandaged and she was still in her pajamas.  I remember she stayed home from work that entire week.  My mom was usually pretty upbeat and usually did not stay in her pajamas all day. She seemed to have shrunk during that week.?Being only, eleven I was still shorter than my mom.  I have her curly hair and it is exactly the same light brown as my oldest brother.  Mom picked me up from school later that week. I was pretty average in height for my age, but slightly built.  I was in the car with my mother and she turned to me and said,?“Matthew, I have cancer”.   

I started sobbing and then I asked her when she found out.?“How long have you known?” I asked.? “Almost a week”, she responded.

Mom told me she had B-cell lymphoma and told me that if you had to get a cancer, this was the one to get and that it was one of the  easiest to cure.  Even though I trusted my mom, I still believed it was bad and that it wouldn’t be easy to cure. It seemed like she was always going for one test or another for those first few weeks. ?        

This made my crying get worse and not only did I think she was going to die, but I was also mad that she kept this from me. I remember being at school the next day when someone said something about my mother and I just burst into tears.   The teacher called me out in the hallway.?“You can go to the counselor’s office if you need to talk to someone about this”, she said. ?“I feel like I do need to talk to someone”, I replied. I went mostly just to get away from everyone so they wouldn’t see how emotional I was.  Talking to the counselor helped some, but I still was very troubled.?                 

After all the testing, I went to the doctor’s office with my mom.  

I felt a lot better after I went because the doctor explained everything and I was pretty sure that he was telling the truth.  To make matters worse, my older brother, Jon was getting married  in Jamaica at a resort that didn’t allow children. I felt like I was being abandoned at a time when I was already very upset.  The only good thing about this was that I got to stay at my best friend’s house during the time my mom was gone which was about 2 weeks.  This helped to take my mind off my mother’s cancer.?        

Mom had her first chemotherapy treatment before she went to Jamaica. I went with her as often as I could.   Everyone was very friendly, but I didn’t like the fact that Mom had to go there. She would take a pillow and a blanket and would sleep during part of the treatment. ?        

I tried my best to help her during the chemo treatments.  

She had another friend who would drive her, but I stayed there the whole time, which was about six hours.   I would take my laptop but I always watched out for her.?        

“Mom, do you need anything?  Do you want some more water or another blanket?” I would ask.  I would do anything to make her more comfortable.  Mom had treatment every three weeks. She had treatment on Thursday and would take Friday off from work.  She had to have six cycles and after the first three cycles they repeated her scans. The scans showed that the chemotherapy was working. When she had her first scan this

When Mom was finally done with the chemotherapy, she had to go on a program of Rituxan, which is a monoclonal antibody.  This medicine is supposed to change the way the body's immune system works.  In cancer cells, this drug targets a specific protein within cancer cells.   Mom had two years of this treatment after she finished her chemotherapy. She would get treatment every Wednesday for six weeks and then have six weeks off and then start all over again.? One thing that happened when mom got cancer, was I thought I would get it or someone else in my family would get it too.?        

“Mom, did anyone else in our family have cancer?” I asked.?        

“No one else in my family has ever had cancer that I know of” she told me.?        

“How do you get cancer? Do you think I’ll get cancer?”  I asked.?        

“No one knows for sure why some people get cancer and others don’t.   For me, it was my immune system that didn’t work right”, she told me.?        

Now Mom is done with all the treatments.  I am relieved that this is over, but of course I still worry about other family members. My Dad smokes and I worry about him getting cancer.  Mostly, though, I am thankful it’s over.