I remember him, he was one of the kindest brother’s. He wasn’t my brother but I used to wish he was. I would go over to my friend’s house, and whenever Landon came into the room everyone seemed happier than they were moments before. He would scoop up his sisters one by one and tickle them, it was his way of showing his love for them. I would sit on their couch just watching this, almost wanting him to do the same to me. I was young then and I didn’t know, that though he seemed happy on the outside, he was really hurt inside. He lived in Florida for a couple years, and when he came back he seemed a lot better, at least that’s what we were told.

I remember the day he died, his Dad called my Dad. I was sitting in our living room while my Dad was talking to him, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good. All of the sudden my Dad was crying, which I had never seen him doing. When he got off of the phone, he told me Landon had died. He was at a friend’s house and he overdosed. That’s all I knew about what happened to him. It all happened to fast, and it was so unexpected, we thought, everyone thought that he was doing well, I guess we were all wrong. I didn’t know what to say, the only thing I remember thinking was “No God, No.” He was only 18.

My family and I went to his memorial service, he had a lot of siblings, 13 to be exact. I was friends with almost every one of them, the only two kids that weren’t adopted were Landon and Blake. They were the oldest. They may have been a big family, but they were all so close, which made it all much harder to deal with. They were all so sad, I couldn’t say anything to them, and sorry wouldn’t help. Malakai was the youngest, he was adopted from Liberia. I love him so much, he always had a smile on his face, but not today, probably not for a while. I would have done anything to try and put that smile back on his face. I’m not good with words, so maybe it made them feel a little better that we simply were there. It was a beautiful memorial service, everyone there truly loved him. He touched the lives of all age groups.

During the memorial service, his brother Blake played a song on his guitar and sang. Everyone was crying then, and not just because he was.

One thing that has stuck with me to this day is a song they played during the service, it is a song by one of my favorite bands, Underoath. As soon as the song started to play, I was crying again, that song touched me, it reminded me of him, but it also reminded me of God’s Grace. “Some will seek forgiveness, other’s escape.” Whenever I listen to that song, I think of Landon. His life may have been hard on earth, but it is beautiful in heaven.

After the service, I went to look at where he lay in his coffin. I realized then that his death may have been sad, but really this time was a celebration because he had gone somewhere better. I understand then that we don’t always know why people die, or why terrible things happen, but loving and caring for people while they are here is what matters.