I've learned quite a bit from my experiences riding horses. Among the various lessons that I've been dished out the most valuable has to be persistence. I have had more setbacks, disappointment, and yes even pain, in my experience riding horses than anything else I've pursued. I still come back to it though, no matter what happens, and I come back stronger and more determined than before. Or at least that’s the way it’s been in the past before what happened this past August.

First, some back story. You see, in middle school I adopted an ex-racehorse named Timeless Wager, aka Ditty, and slowly but surely she changed from stubborn race horse to a reliable show horse and companion (after quite a bit of work). I couldn't have gotten her at a better time in my life. It was middle school, and kids can be cruel. I got bullied and had a very, very small pool of friends. Riding was an escape for me and Ditty was my closest friend. So, needless to say I became very attached to her and she became my own form of therapy. The best kind too, because there was absolutely no way that all of my secrets would be blabbed to someone else if I needed to get things off my chest. Something unexpected happened in August though; Ditty suddenly pasted away. Literally over night she was gone, after showing no signs of anything being wrong with her. That morning had to be one of the worst that I've experienced so far. My mom woke me up, told me the news, and unable to believe it I went outside and sure enough there was Ditty, but she wasn't really there anymore. She was gone and there was nothing I could do.
I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt about all the things I wish I had done. When something happens that you have no control over, you still can’t help but think about everything you should have done differently. It was pretty hard to get back into riding after losing Ditty. I didn't want to continue riding, or get another horse, or have anything to do with anything that might result in something I love being gone without any warning. That isn't the way the world works though, and it’s not a happy way to live either. No matter what you do anything can happen at any time, and this realization set me free. You can try to close up and protect yourself from getting hurt, but that also means that you might miss out on something amazing that makes you unbelievably happy. So, I’m happy to say that I recently adopted a new horse (also an ex-racehorse) and have a new adventure to go on. Nothing will ever replace Ditty, some of the best days I had were spent on long tail rides and giving baths (always ending with me more drenched in water than she was) and I’ll always have that. Now it’s time to start a new story though, and I can only hope it will involve happy days and preferably dryer clothes on those bath days. The important thing is to remember is that you have to keep going on, even you’re afraid of what might happen, because moving forward doesn't mean forgetting. It means remembering what was, and cherishing what you have.