In the vintage photo, you see her looking around with intuitive cocoa eyes at her paltry house. Thinking to herself. "Am I supposed to feel this blue on Christmas Eve?" She could see no brilliant bright lights, no joyful carols played in the background. Their untouched sapling sat leaning against the paint chipped wall, some branches browning from lack of water. She glanced over at her weary dad who was watching the history channel; images of presidents prior shimmered on the screen. His glasses rested crookedly on his puffy tomato red face and his cocoa bloodshot eyes stared blindly at the screen. She was hoping he would take a shower before they departed for Christmas dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's house or at least change out of his work putrid smelling work clothes from yesterday. "When do we need to leave?" She hinted. "In a couple hours sweetie” he sighed in a raspy voice. As predicted he pulled out a chestnut paper bag from under the dingy ash couch and takes a long swig of amber liquid, this is something he tried to mask from her and she didn't want to draw attention to it, not tonight.

Her dad slowly arose with a groan and she could hear the cracking of his knees and he gimped to get a crimson towel from the closet, finally taking his long overdue shower. "Sis! come help me decorate the tree" insisted her brother. “We can hang these tin cans on the branches, it will be funny." "It will not be funny!" She angrily reprimanded, her face growing heated at the thought of her dad's embarrassment and she hastily jumped up and disposed of the cans.

As they strolled out the door she could see the their rusty silvered pickup truck parked beside the cardboard box house, the front fender still dented from when her dad thrashed the fence last summer. When the old truck came to life they backed out of the driveway she looked out the sooty truck window. The gleaming lights from the neighbor’s house caught her attention. Their own house looked that much more shaded and bleak.

She could hear the laughter thru the brick walls as she hopped up the steps. As she stood on the welcome mat she inhaled the scent of pine coming from the vibrant grassy wreath hanging on the front wooden door. When it opened her body was instantly hit with warmth as she felt two arms wrapping snuggly around her. "Head a Mia “her grandma whispered in her ear. “Now my Christmas is complete". She could smell the Avon perfume mixed in with a little nutmeg and vanilla, “Baking" she thought to herself.

Out of the corner of her eye she witnessed her dad exchanging hugs and kisses; she was captivated to see his delightment knowing his smile hid his despair. The heart of the house was filled with Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. She gazed at her dad as he found a seat and she darted over to him. "Dad, would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?" "That would be grand sweetie" He affirmed. She took slight steps making her way into the kitchen, remembering all the other times she has retrieved her dad a cup of coffee. Reaching into the cabinet she grabbed a thick snowy ceramic mug and filled it to the brim with the hearty velvety black coffee.

She handed the mug to her dad and he thanked her with a tender smile. The coffee mug left a slight scorching sensation in her hands but she welcomed it. She tried not to show her bleakness and she listened to her cousin’s guess about what Santa might be bringing them for Christmas. As soon as they started quarreling about who got grandma the finest present she shuffled out of the room. She didn't want to say they came empty handed.

After she engorged herself with ham, potatoes and gravy, fruit salad and rolls she strolled into the living room for the gift giving. Soon it was time to go home. She witnessed her grandma filling containers in the kitchen "Kelly" "Please take this home with you". She stared as her grandma gave her dad a loving smile and handed over the bag of delicious left overs. As she put on her coat she could hear her cousins excited voices pressing her Aunt and Uncles to go home, they we're eager for the next morning. She gave a fake gleeful smile because she didn't them to know that her only taste of Christmas had just happened.

She feels familiar arms encircle her " Go on honey, Santa only comes when you’re sleeping" her grandma advised. "I know" she acknowledged sounding a little disheartened.

On the way home she looked out her truck window once more, continuing to see the dazzling lights flash by like teasing reminders. When her dad pulled into the dimly lit driveway she noticed something unusual, her brother must have too because he darted out of the truck. Her dad opened the door and stepped aside "BOOM". Blazing bright lights of every color danced in the room. She slowly glided towards the tree, her eyesight blurry with tears that started to drip down her cheek like rain off the edge of a moistened leaf. “Dad, who did this"? She wondered. "Santa must have" He assured. She could behold gifts of every size and shape, wrapped in crimson and gold wrapping paper with silver bows placed neatly under the tree which now was being nourished. She was in awe at the sight in front of her but their dad made them go to bed.

"How" she thought as she lay in her bed "who" could have done this? She fell asleep to the slight but unmistakable scent of vanilla and nutmeg.