In the book From the Mixed Up Files of Basil E. Frankweiler, Claudia Kincaid takes care of her little brother, Jamie Kincaid surprisingly well when they run away. When I was reading that book, I thought that I could never take care of my brother, Brayden that way. The only thing running through my mind was “How does she do it? What does it take to do that?” I figured out the answers pretty quickly.

Last summer, I went to Korea with my brother. My parents didn’t come with us. I realized that I had to take care of my brother for more than a MONTH. And worse, he had allergies to dairy and seafood. I had to make sure he didn’t eat anything dairy and kill himself. I was really pressured. But I realized a bit through the trip that we had to build trust to be able to rely on each other. Love is like a house. Trust is the foundation of love. Without trust, love collapses. Trust also has to be strong. Brayden had to trust that I wouldn’t let him eat the wrong things. I had to trust him that he wouldn’t be careless and eat the wrong food himself. In the Mixed Up Files, Claudia and Jamie also trusted each other when they were alone without adult supervision. They had to trust and depend on each other.

What I discovered when we went to Korea was that they put weird stuff in meat soup. And this soup wasn’t just any old meat soup; it was like boiled water, salt and meat. My mom’s friend took my brother and me out to dinner. We went to a restaurant, and we ordered the meat soup. After waiting a few minutes, our food arrived. I smelled something funny, so I sniffed the soup. It smelled like cheese.

Weird.

I thought, “That’s ridiculous, Brianne. No one puts cheese in meat soup. Just calm down and eat.”

After a few seconds, he started itching his throat area. Rashes were popping up all over his face. I panicked and cried, “What’s wrong, Brayden?”

“My throat itches…” he rasped.

I quickly popped out an allergy pill and made him eat it. Later, we found out that there actually WAS cheese in the soup. That day, I learned to trust my instincts and not assume anything. I don’t really know why, but I feel that that dinner strengthened the relationship between my brother and me. He now realized that we have to rely on each other to be able to stay together as brother and sister. He and I were drawn closer because now we both knew that we really cared about each other.

Sometime during the last few weeks of the trip, my brother developed a fear of practically everything. He couldn’t go to the bathroom unless someone was right in front of the door, he couldn’t go into rooms unless someone was with him, he was afraid of sudden noises, he was crying everyday because he missed home, etc. etc. At first I felt really bad for him because all these fears were blocking him from doing almost everything. And I thought I could imagine what he felt like. He missed his parents, and it was normal! In the beginning, I was exactly like him. But after a few days, the pity became annoyance. And the annoyance turned into slight anger. Why couldn’t he just stop whining and go into the bedroom by himself? I had to finish my summer reading! When I was complaining about this situation to my parents over the phone, they said, “Brianne, there’s only a few days left. I know this is a lot of responsibility, but we warned you before you left. We know you are prepared enough to last just a few more days.” Yes, they had told me about the huge responsibility this visit to Korea was going to be. But I hadn’t taken it seriously. I thought that it would be just same old, same old, except for the fact that we were on the other side of the world. But I was enlightened to the fact that my parents were not here with us. It seems obvious, I know. But I thought that my aunts and uncles would do most of the taking-care-of-Brayden work like my parents did back at home. But there in Korea, I was the one that knew Brayden the best. I was the one that knew exactly what his allergies were and how to take care of him. I knew all his worries and fears. I knew that my brother was like a green horse, meaning that he was wild and untrained. I knew how to keep him under control. Responsibility was a HUGE part in this trip. It would be hard, but I knew I had to gather myself and remember how to control Brayden.

For the last few days, I tried to understand him and think like him. I let him cry when he was calling my parents. I stood in front of the bathroom door when he was doing his business. I went everywhere right next to him and calmed him when he got spooked my weird sounds. I coaxed him to sleep every night and made sure he didn’t eat the wrong things. Sure, it was hard, but it was sort of worth it. I looked forward to when we would arrive at home and I would have the rest of summer off to relax and be with my friends and family, just what I wanted that whole month.

That trip to Korea was the first trip I went on with my brother and no one else. It was hard, one of the hardest things I ever did in my life, but at least I earned trust from my brother, I strengthened my relationship with him, and I learned responsibility. I thought I knew what those all were, but I’m pretty sure I grasped the real meanings of trust, relationship, and responsibility on that trip. My brother and I still fight a lot even when we’re at home, but at least my work is done.

At least for now.