Stations of the Cross

One event does not make your life, but it can certainly have a major impact on it. Different events can define you and eventually a series of them make up whom you are. A little less than a year ago, I found out that my eighth grade class would be performing the Living Stations of the Cross. The Stations of the Cross are the thirteen stations that Jesus experienced during his Passion. This had been a tradition that the eighth grade class continued every year. We would be performing them on March 27th and March 28th, we only had a few months to prepare. Our whole class had to participate in acting and it was a big deal. It wasn’t just performing the stations that changed me, but the story behind it.

Last year was one of the most tragic school years this community has ever experienced. We lost so many cherished, loved ones in our school and it was very difficult. Adam would have been a junior last year when he had a terrible accident. It was incredibly hard news to hear he was injured and was in a coma for several weeks. Adam was slowly recovering, but suddenly his health took a major decline and sadly he passed away a few days later. It was the most devastating news to hear and it was a hard way to start off the new school year.

Months later, a student named Pete had another tragic accident. He fell on his head from a lift very high up during school and was in a coma for almost the whole school year. Everyday we would pray for him and we would say rosaries every week. He was out for
a very long time, but made a remarkable recovery. He is now a sophomore at Juan Diego and doing great, but last year he was in a coma for a long time. We did not know if we would make a full recovery while performing the stations so we dedicated them to Pete.

We also dedicated the stations so another student named Matt. About a week before we were going to perform the stations, a senior at our school did something tragic. He was one of those kids who had everything going for him. He had amazing friends, he was smart, and he was a lacrosse star. On a Sunday afternoon, his sister came home to find that he had taken his own life. It was the most sudden news anyone could have received. How could someone so far in life, do something so awful? The question remains a mystery to this day, but I still pray every night for Adam and Matt who I know are safe with God in Heaven.

Not only were there countless tragedies in our community that year, but there were also tragic events outside of Utah. For example, the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting in Connecticut. It was so sad to hear for all people around the nation. Our religion teacher, Ms. Moynihan, told us that the stations this year would be more important than anything else. People walk the Stations of the Cross to understand the suffering of Jesus and so they can relate it with their suffering. To let them know that the people they have lost are safe in heaven. It was our job to remind them of the suffering Jesus went through, so they can relate to his despair. It is an odd thought, but being able to connect to suffering of Jesus in the passion, can help relieve people of their sorrow.. We only had two months to pull of an event that would comfort and console the hearts off our community.

I remember as a kid, I would walk the stations and see all the older kids acting them out. Walking the Living Stations and experiencing them is so different then reading them. Watching your classmates and the people you know turn into Mary, Jesus, or roman soldiers is scary. I never realized until last year how different it is to watch them, than it is to be acting them. I was assigned to Station Three; Jesus falls for the first time. My classmates voted me to be Mary. How could I ever take on a role as important as the Mother of Jesus? I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but my religion teacher would not let me quit. Ms. Moynihan was the one teacher who had the biggest impact on my life and helped me mature in my faith.

I was so scared my class would not be able to pull off the Living Stations of the Cross. To be completely honest, I thought the stations would be a total train wreck and I was going to mess it up. As I was sitting outside waiting for the stations to begin, I took a few minutes to myself. I was shaking so badly because I was incredibly nervous so I started to take deep breaths. I thought of Adam, Matt, and Pete and I asked myself, “How could these terrible things happen to such good people? Why did this have to happen to us?”

That is when I realized, that our job by performing these stations was not to answer these questions for people. We were not going to say why Matt did what he did or why Adam had to go so early in his life. It is not to give answers, but it was to give compassion, love, comfort, and peace to those who knew them. To tell them that they will see their loved ones again. Their suffering will pass, and they will find peace. That was my motto that got me through the next two days.

March 27th and 28th were the longest two days of my life. I performed the stations over and over for thousands of people, but every time I gave it with the same passion and heart as the first. Even though I was tired and had performed it many times, for the people walking them, they would only see it once. I wanted to make sure I made that one time special to them. The
hardest thing for me was watching the students, parents, teachers, or even strangers walk by crying. I knew going into the stations that people would be crying, but it is so much harder when you actually experience it. Every time I saw a new face crying, I felt proud because I knew they were experiencing the same passion and sorrow I was getting out of the stations and that was the goal. To make every person feel the presence of God and all the hard work we put into them.

Towards the end of the second day, I was getting tired and my throat was getting sore from pretending to cry. I looked up ahead to the second station and saw a group of seniors watching. I could instantly tell they were friends of Matt and something inside told me to make this the best performance I could give for them. As they walked up and got closer I could see they were all crying and they instantly broke my heart. I got up to give my speaking part and I started crying because I was so moved by these seniors. Our station began and I gave every ounce of heart, soul, and passion into my performance because I wanted to make it so special for these people. By the time we had finished tears were flowing down my face and for the first time while I was performing the stations, I felt their pain. Something inside me clicked and in those couple seconds I grew. I grew miles high in my faith because I felt the presence of God there and I felt complete. I realized this was the reason we worked so hard to pull the Stations off. It was for these seniors and all their friends to feel our pain, comfort, passion, and love that we had to offer them. I felt the real meaning of what it was like to give and those days changed me forever.
The Living Stations of the Cross was the way for us to release all the sadness we had held from this year, to heal and give peace to our hearts. Our eighth grade class accomplished exactly that and set the record for the most performances given. We gave over a two hundred performances in just two day and over a thousand people came to walk them. It was a huge success and we got multiple compliments about how we moved so many people. We set the record for the most people to ever walk the Stations and we had accomplished our goal. Today, it’s just a distant memory, but it taught me a lesson I will never forget. That sometimes life puts bumps in the road and we will never know why. We need to be strong through those challenges and turn toward those who can help us. When I saw the seniors crying all I wanted to do was disappear and cry with them, but I couldn’t. It was my job to comfort them and my job to be there for them. I would not let them down and I grew strong from it.

It showed me that no matter how mature or how old someone is, they are always going to need comforting. They will always need someone there to console them and let them know they are there. Eveyone has a time where they must step up and be the leader. Be the rock for others to lean on when it gets tough and that is what I had to be for the friends of Adam, Pete, and Matt. I try to be the strong person today and when things get tough, I know I can get through them if I have faith. I am a much stronger thanks to the Stations of the Cross and also because of my religion teacher, Ms. Moynihan.

She has been my role model ever since the day I met her and one of the most influential people I have every known. She was always there for me when I needed her and would never let me down. Ms. Moynihan taught me some of the most important life lessons that I will carry with me forever. Halfway through rehearsing stations I wanted to give up being Mary. I did not think I was strong enough to play a person as incredible as Mary was, but when I saw how passionate Ms. Moynihan was about it all I couldn’t quit. The Stations of the Cross meant so much to her and I was not going to let her down. She pushed me to be a better person and I am a kinder, more compassionate, faithful, and more mature person because of her. She changed my life.

There has only been one other day where I felt the presence of others being so thankful for my support just as much as the day I performed the Stations. It was a few weeks ago in Draper at Sergeant Johnson’s procession. Watching the faces of his family and friends driving by in the cars crying reminded me of the seniors last year. I almost fell apart at the procession and had the same disappearing thought, but because of the stations I was able to hold strong. I told myself it was my turn to be the rock for these people who need support. The Stations of the Cross taught me to hold my own and in my head I knew that Sergeant Johnson was now resting in peace.

So, in the greater picture without the Living Stations I would not be who I am today. It meant the world to me when I was able to stay strong and give back. I know sometimes in life, you will get knocked down. You will get angry and ask why did this happen to me? I know that I cannot give you the answer to that. Nobody can give you an answer to why bad things happen, but everything happens for a reason. When it happens to others, I will be strong and comfort anyone who needs it because when it is my turn I know that I will have someone there for me.