The world is divided into two types of people.
Those who leave
And those who don’t
The ones who managed to slip away through the tiny spaces between your fingers like sand.


And the ones who you couldn’t get rid of even if you tried





You’re family is supposed to be the ones who stick around while others just pass on by



My dad was everything that a dad should never be






He never stuck around for long and when he was there he would yell and sooner or later he would hit something or someone.











But he was my dad so it didn’t matter when I was young because I was the other type of person


The type of person who would stick it out through the good and the bad



but eventually it was all just too much because there’s only so much you can ask a little girl to go through

How much could I endure before I finally cracked?





I had seen too much all before the age of six.








Seeing your family torn apart can make you bitter.






But I didn’t want to be the teenage girl with daddy issues.






I didn’t want to be broken but he broke me.







Broke me when he neglected his duties as a father.






But I refuse to stay broken, I refuse to be the victim, refuse to let what he did to me turn me into a bitter person. But I can’t say what he did didn’t have an effect on me but I fight everyday to overcome the bad results of his actions. I fight to stay strong and be who I want to be, not who people think I would become.



A lot of people respond to what I went through in a negative way and it’s been a struggle to get to where I am.

I am strong and weak. Loving and hateful. Thoughtful but petty. I am pretty normal.




I am where I want to be but it’s not because of him.
















It’s because I decided that I wouldn’t let his actions control my life but where does that leave me with my dad?





Do I love him even though I can’t?










Is it my duty to love him because he’s my father even though I can’t stand him?



How can I love someone who took my sister from me and made my brother cry?



Someone who hit my mother.


















So do I love him even though he didn’t love me?







I know he didn’t mean to leave me fatherless but does that change anything?




No it doesn’t change a thing, doesn’t make me special, it just makes me another kid with daddy issues.
Another kid who’s dad didn’t know what he had and that’s okay because honestly I miss the idea of my dad more than I miss the actual man.






Because the actual man isn’t someone I would be proud to call father.





So there are two types of people in this world.





Those who you remember.








And those you forget.








And after 11 years I’ve come to realize that he is one of those I can forget because he is also the type of person who left.