Life is precious. My brother taught me that.
My dad told me to get in the car, an emergency had taken place. I didn’t know what was going on. that he tried to leave us. that I would almost lose him. That my life was about to become a living hell.

I heard that he got pushed to the edge. I don’t know what pushed him to do it.

I know my brother struggled with depression. When I heard, I couldn't push myself to believe he had tried to take his life.
The car ride down was slow and cold. Painful and quiet. Sad and intense.
When we got there my dad was the first to go back. As my mom was telling me, it seemed as though the air was getting less and less. It was getting harder to breath. All I could hear through my tears was NO! My world was shattering beneath my feet. Could this really be happening?

Now, I’m in the hospital waiting room. It felt as tho someone had died. Full of sadness. Despair. Heavy heartedness. The smell of it made me want to cry. The chemicals. I can still smell them. As I’m sitting there I felt like you could feel my heart breaking the way I was sitting in my chair. Face streaked with the tears I had just shed.

“Heidi,” the nurse said with a sympathetic look on her face”you can come back now.” I knew she wanted to help but all she could do was walk us back to see him.

When I saw him. I could have sworn he was a ghost. His face. Oh, his face is the thing I remember most. He had this white stuff around his mouth. Like a rabid dog. His expression. Stoned. When I offered him some water he kept
saying that it was spicy and he could not drink it.
After sitting there awhile, he started to hallucinate. He saw orbs of light, demons, and things turning into things that were not there. Or so he told us. All I wanted to do at that point was Help him. The,, all of it caught up to me and i started to cry.

This experience took such a toll on my heart. I can honestly say that, that was the worst day of my life I can remember.

Life is preciou. My brother taught me that.