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The Life He Never Lived
Two years ago during summer vacation, I met someone who changed my life. At the time, he was just a guy who happened to be related to a friend, but what I didn’t know was that wasn’t the last time I would see him. Cody sure did steal my heart. From the moment I first saw him to the last time he gave me one of his hugs, I knew he clearly felt the same way. We started talking and clicked instantly. Soon enough, it was late night conversations about life and hanging out every chance there was. Cody was so sweet to me, and everyone he knew. He would use the best effort to make me feel better about myself.
At night, Cody would end the conversation with, “everything will be okay, get some rest and stay beautiful” and when he went to bed I couldn’t because I would stay up smiling, crazy right? Before school he would text me to wake me up; every morning, his message was like my alarm clock. He picked me up every other day and drove me to school. I can remember one morning he spent the longest time bragging about how amazing his car was after he worked on it, “pimped it out” as he said. “The bass is insane and the dial even changes color. It’s sweet”.
On the days he didn’t drive me, we met in the lobby so we could sit and talk for a little bit.
Being in different grades, Cody and I didn’t see each other often and he told me he couldn’t take not seeing me any longer. I figured out we were in the same hallway before the first lunch, which was the one I had. He decided to wait for me every day after the bell rang and he walked me to lunch. He would come back and sit with me for a bit since he had study hall. I hated saying bye to him when my lunch was over. I just wish I could stay with him all day, but one of his hugs was all I needed to get through the rest of the day. Cody’s hugs were the best, I always told him that, and when I did, he smiled; his smile was gorgeous, brightened up the mood all the time. That was the last time I saw Cody during the day. Once school ended, he would be the first to text me. He asked me how my day was and if I had fun and of course how much I missed him.
Even when I wasn’t with Cody and talking to him face to face, he made me laugh. Cody joked all the time about everything and he was such a funny person, he had quite the bubbly personality. He was super confident, and I loved that about him. Almost every Saturday, he picked me up when I was free and we would drive down the highway and blast music because it’s just what the both of us enjoyed doing -spending endless time together doing nothing but still being there.
On September 8th, a Saturday, I went dress shopping with my friends, when I got home, I texted him with my dress dilemma. Here’s what he told me: “Wear the black one if you want guys lining up to dance with you, but where the other one if you only want to dance with me. Pick carefully but I know you will look beautiful in both”. After that he asked me if I would go to homecoming with him but I said no, big mistake. On Sunday Cody explained how crushed he was because I wouldn’t go with him. Nearing the end of the conversation, he told me he had a surprise for me at lunch.
On Monday, the day went normally until lunch. Cody walked me there, went to class, came back, and brought a little wrapped up box. I opened it and inside there was a bracelet. On the bracelet, there was an infinity sign, I put it on and Cody made me promise to never take it off. On the same day, he gave me his white jersey to wear the day before the next game and told me he wanted me to have it if anything ever happened. At the time, I thought nothing of it; I thought it was just Cody being his sweet, sincere self. He texted me later that night and the conversation was completely normal. It was September 11th the next day, my birthday. Cody told me to wait for him after lunch so he could give me a big birthday hug. That morning, I didn’t see him in the lobby, but again thought nothing of it. He must just be late, or maybe really early. I thought. Fourth period came, I walked out and Cody wasn’t waiting for me. Oh, he must have forgotten.
After lunch, I waited for Cody like he asked, but still, he didn’t show. I texted him and asked where he was or if he is sick and out for the day, no reply. During sixth period, you received bad news but couldn’t tell us what happened. Shortly after, the entire varsity football team was called to the gym. Something’s up...What’s going on?? I wondered. Thoughts were flying through my head and I just hoped it had nothing to do with Cody. I complained to Ayla about it and she told me it was nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, during 7th period, my worst nightmare came true. People were talking about Cody and his death. I couldn’t hold in the tears, they burst and I ran out of the room crying. This can’t be true. It’s all a rumor, a joke.
But it was true, on the morning of my birthday Cody killed himself. It’s been 5 days and I still can’t believe it. His wake was on Friday, I cried, a lot. Other people laughed, celebrating his life. I’m having trouble in school now, I can’t concentrate and nothing is functioning right. I loved Cody. He changed me for the better and it’s sad to know that I will never see him again. I walk through the halls and wait for him to run up behind me and hug me and tell me it was just a bad dream. I re-read all of our conversations and wish I could have helped. I never got to say bye to him, but after the wake, I feel the slightest bit of closure. At least he is in a better place, I really hope he is happy and at peace. Now all I’ll ever do is think about the life he never lived.
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