One Monday turned out to be a very special day indeed. I got my first crush on a girl named Jenny. She is tall, blue-eyed, and she is the kind of beautiful that makes a guy terrified to talk to her.

I’m in Biology class and our teacher asks us to pick partners for a project. I’m a pretty shy fellow, so I just figure the teacher will assign another shy kid as my partner and all will be well.

To my disbelief, the girl I had admired since the beginning of the year is walking to my table. She must surely be going the wrong way, but there are no tables anywhere near mine. She’s standing next to me, oh God, what do I do? “Can I be your partner?” She’s staring straight into my eyes, and I realize that I cannot remember how to speak English. Somehow I manage to utter a weak ‘yes’, and she sits down next to me. I just sit there, paralyzed by her magnificence.

For the next week or so I muster the courage to talk to this 6th grade goddess, and surprisingly I found out we have a lot in common. We like the same music, watch the same shows, and even play the same video games! I think I’m in love.

Eventually I decide I’m going to ask Jenny out. This is a big moment, so I take as much time as I can to get ready. I straighten my hair, apply my eyeliner, and wear my favorite shirt. It’s a Friday, and on the way to school I blast some hardcore music and try as hard as I can to cool my nerves.

I walk into the ugly little portable that passes as a classroom, and there is my beautiful Jenny. I sit down next to her and try to play it cool, remembering not to bite my fingernails or mess with my hair. We always have a few minutes before class, and I say a silent prayer, asking that I won’t have a seizure while I try to ask her out.

I manage a “Hey, Jenny,” and then I forget how to breathe. I almost die, but I remember that I’m on a mission, and failure is not an option. I decide the best way to do this is just to attack it head on, and I blurt out the sentence that had been stuck in my throat for fifteen minutes, “Jenny, do you want to go out tonight?”

She gives me a stare like I had just killed her grandmother, and I know I’ve screwed it up for good. I’m going to go straight home and tell my mother that I would like to be homeschooled. Then all of a sudden a huge smile appears on her pretty face. She says, “Oh I would love to! Can you come get me at 7:00?” My heart just about collapses with relief, and confidence fills me. I tell her that would be perfect, and she leans in and kisses my cheek.

This is the first time I’ve ever been kissed by anyone besides my mother and my dog, and a feeling of utter bliss washes over me. The rest of the day is spent in anticipation, and I go straight home after school to tell my mom what happened. She says she’s excited for me, and she gives me thirty dollars for the movie and popcorn.

6:45 finally rolls around, and I rush to Jenny’s house, even though she only lives five minutes away by foot. The whole way is agonizing, because I am a horrible mix of excitement, anxiety, and fear. I finally get to Jenny’s house, and I take a couple deep breaths, and knock on the door.

The wait is not very long. Jenny’s father answers the door, and what he says completely obliterates all of my raging emotions. He simply says, “Jenny can’t go out tonight, she is grounded” and shuts the door.

I can only stand there, mouth agape, in complete shock. I have no clue what to do next, so my body goes on autopilot, and I walk home. I walk in the door, tell my mother what happened, and go upstairs to go to sleep. The rest of the weekend consisted of me eating junk food and playing video games. I could not even muster the enthusiasm to go to church.

Monday finally comes around, and I walk into the miserable little excuse of a classroom. There is Jenny, with a strange look on her face, like she’s waiting to see whether I will come up to her or if she will have to come up to me.

She walks up to me and simply says, “Sorry, dude.” I say that it’s okay, and that was the last time I ever talked to Jenny.