My mother was more than a mother. She was a mom and a full time angel. She was someone very special. She gave me life; something to live for; a destiny. She protected me from my enemies. I hold her dearly in my memories. She made me limitless in spirituality. My father was a coward. He ran before I came out of the womb like it was the right thing to do. But I’m a Christian. I forgive but I do not forget. That’s what my mom taught me fool. Every dark cloud has a silver lining but when she died it hit hard and even the darkness was blinding. I keep trying to make these tears stop running down my face. I’m not a man that cries but Oh My God I’m crying. When she died everything in me died to. I guess I got my personality from her as well as my eyes. She did drugs and was addicted to cocaine but so what? If there’s one thing I know about my mom is she was more addicted to being around her kids more than anything.

For a minute I thought that weed was the remedy. That was until the high was gone, everything would wear off, and my problems were no longer taken care of. Thank God I quit “smoking” or I would have ended up like her—six feet under. Is there anything I can do to bring her back? Absolutely not but I won’t just stand here and rot.

I still remember when Child Protective Services took me away from her because money didn’t grow on trees. As a four year old it made me cry to see tears come out of my mom’s eyes. My mom couldn’t bear to see her baby cry. She was courageous, you see, and as mighty as the scriptures on Bible pages. So she decided to fight for me back in court and won the case. From that day on I thought nothing could split us apart. Yeah and I just had to be wrong. I’m gasping for air like I’m being tied down under water that is 200 degrees below norm.