Little, narrow-minded, 2nd grade me coming home from school, with my brother. I open the front door and lying there on the couch is my lean, anorexic mom. Cans of beer scattered around her. It was ordinary for this to happen, it was just like every other day. I scampered up the stairs and snagged my mom's phone on her nightstand. I knew my dad was at work providing for our family, as my mom could not, so I called my uncle. He was frustrated with her, this wasn't the first time I had to call him. My uncle came, picked up me and my brother, and we went to his house. I spent the night there while my dad said he had to do “adult stuff”. I didn't know what that meant but I didn't want to know after what just occurred. I felt alone like I was going through this blind. I just wanted a happy family and a healthy mom. It seemed like all the other kids at school had happy parents why was I the only one who didn’t?

The next day my dad picked us up and brought us home. But something was different. My mom wasn’t there. My dad sat us on the couch and said we wouldn’t see my mom for a while. I sat there as tears rolled down my face, I was torn. I loved my mom, she was my best friend. And while we had our ups and downs she was still my mom and I didn’t want to lose her.  Having to learn at such a young age that I wasn’t going to be able to see her was heartbreaking. 

About a month later we were finally able to go and see her again. We were sitting in the hospital room and my dad and mom told me and my brother that we needed to talk. We knew this was coming. The words came out of my dad's mouth “We are getting a divorce”. Tears overflowed my eyes. My dad stood up and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and said “It’s all going to be okay”. I didn’t know what getting a divorce meant at this point but I had friends whose parents had gotten divorced, and I knew that I was going to have to move away just like they had to. 

That night, I went home and cried in my bed. I only had myself to blame. Thoughts ran through my head, what if I hadn't called my uncle that day, would my parents still be happy together? I was just lying there, staring at my ceiling not knowing what to do. The words replayed in my head, just as my dad told me “It’s all going to be okay”. I didn't believe him but I knew he would be there with us through it all. 

A few weeks later my dad picked us up from school. We got into the car and my dad said “I need to tell you, guys, something”. My brother and I exchanged a look. He looked at us through the mirror and said “We are going to have to move”. I knew what it was like to be constantly moved around because I had been to 3 other schools in other towns before that one, but I had been at this school for a full year and I had already made so many friends. My brother asked when and my dad said we needed to be out of the house by the end of the month. It broke my heart, I was going to have to say goodbye to all of my friends and move to a new school. Make new friends in a new town with new people. I didn't like change but I was going to have to get used to it. 

We moved to Cannon Falls about 50 minutes away from where we lived previously. I went over 2 years without seeing my mom in person. We would Facetime or call here and there but never did I get to see her until she got better. My mom got back on her feet and bought an apartment, we got to go see her, with my dad present, and after about a year we finally got to stay the night at her house. Over time we finally started going to her house every other weekend and I got to grow a new relationship with her. She explained her story and now keeps me intact so I never fall into the same anorexic life she and my grandma both dealt with at some point during their life. My parents were, and still, are strict when it comes to eating and as I have gotten older I have come to realize why. Having to go through it with my mom and knowing how much it affected me makes me want to better myself so I know that no one that I love ever has to go through that. 

My parent's divorce had an extreme impact on my life and my mental health. But my dad was the one who got our family through it, especially me. I will always wonder what my life would be like if my parents had stayed together or if my mom would have gotten better or even never fallen into the state of anorexia and alcohol. I am so glad I always had my uncle there for me when no one else was but I do think about what would have happened if I never called him that day.  I still and will always remember the day that my parents told me they were getting a divorce. It may have broken my heart and I may have thought my life was over then but I learned that in the end, it’s all going to be okay just like my dad said it would be.