The room was burning. Sweat stains invaded the freshly pressed suit my mom helped me clean. I was so proud of that suit, but it was not prepared to be seated in a room with fifty thousand other teenagers overloaded on cologne and perfume, as we had been for the past three days. Four hours of my day had been taken in a big cube called “THE grand room.”

There was nothing grand about that room. It had tanned walls decorated with designs that went from diamonds to triangles and back to diamonds. The flooring looked as soft as a cloud but was firm as cement. It was covered in dark maroon with mixtures of yellow that matched the color of a bee.  A sea of gray plastic chairs crowded the room, leaving an island for the huge black stage that made me believe we were about to have an artist start singing at any moment! Patiently waiting for my team event to be called, I never thought of the possibility of being trapped in a room, fully dressed, and so sleep deprived that coffee would finally be my friend.

I dreamt nothing was better than getting out of that room and feeling the sun rays kiss my face, legs rejoicing to be finally walking instead of anxiously tapping the cement floor. My daydream abruptly ended as our event name got called. The nerves made standing seem like an impossible task now, and the announcer--who until this moment seemed quieter than the softest patter of rain--thundered over the microphone. My sleep deprivation disappeared as I felt all the teenagers’ baggy eyes shift to me.

My team seemed like pros as they walked toward the lights while I followed behind, feeling queasy with every step. The announcer pointed us in the direction to wait with all the other contestants who also seemed like they took a real beating to get to this event--the award ceremony. He called the rankings from 10 to 1.... I asked myself if I really had done my part to the fullest.... “7,” boomed the announcer! Was it all going to be worth the amount of practice in a cramped closest that could have been mistaken for a meat locker? … “4” echoed around the room… Were elephants a good animal to study for endangered species? “2” crashed through my thoughts.... Do I really want this?

“Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Coming in first place in the state of Texas for Video and Production team is… El Paso Pebble Hills High School!! Congratulations, Noah Castorena, Jesus Perez, Anna Rodarte, and Natalia Martinez!” the announcer echoed through the microphone.

Erupting into a loud cheer from the silence, our school made it seem like we won the NCAA March Madness title. The hornets in my stomach finally cowered as if the pesticide finally kicked and my shoulders felt lighter, like I just received a massage for the first time. Everything was light now, the steps that felt so heavy a minute ago eased up, and smiling wasn’t hurting my face anymore. Once I finished rejoicing in the victory, I listened to what the announcer said next.

“…We look forward to seeing you in Anaheim, California, as you compete for the National title for our state! Best luck to you!” The announcer smiled one last time at us, before turning his back to get the next victor up in the bright gleaming light.

Pardon me? Nationals? Slithering out of the dark, the chains latched onto me once more, this time aiming for my neck. The hornets became enraged and now claimed the throne of my stomach. The roars of joy coming from my school could not outmatch the cries of “STOP” I had in my head.

Walking off the stage, I saw that the lights that once blinded me no longer made the room look bright, just dull and empty, with many faces looking as tired as they had when I left my seat. However, there was little to observe for my teammates tackled the air out of me during their celebration. My team was radiating with happiness that I could not help but smile at their energy; they seemed to have soaked in the light and amplified it times ten!

Separating myself from the cheers and toasts from the school later that day, I went back to my hotel room. Dark and quiet, to reflect on my travel to this competition. I tiptoed over the hordes of clothes on the floor, some being professional shirts my roommates wore the day before and others being our rigid pajamas thrown down, the ones we searched for at night, when we were craving sleep. Falling into the springs of the mattress, I reflected on this trip.

Walking into the hotel for the first time, I thought the lights that mimicked the signs of Las Vegas were going to be a ticket for me to meet confident kids wearing suits and ask these people how they made it. I craved the taste of the luscious meals the hotel offered and wanted to feel the golden utensils that would classify me as a member of the highest of society. I didn’t just come to win but to learn how to be better in this work field overall.

The exquisite leaders who could sway everyone around them showed the sweat that came from rushing from event to event.  These people never asked for help and would smile only if a big camera was on them, or a huge group cornered them. The luscious meals became nothing more than a scheme to lure innocent teenagers to buy the most expensive yogurt they could ever buy publicly. And those textures of cool golden objects were a mere illusion for us teenagers only to be looked at but not touched.  

Although I didn’t get the lessons I wanted, I got lessons needed to make it out of Dallas, Texas. To make it in the real world of business, one must take the idea of being yourself out of the equation. Only when you profit can you smile, and meanwhile for all things mighty, eat fast food… it will keep you satisfied until you get back home!

Squinting at the clock and seeing the amount of time I had left before going back downstairs, I realized many of my ideas of what it meant to be a businessman were wrong. It had nothing to do with my traits of joy and charisma but all about the money you are chasing and who you plan to outsmart. The sweat and vomit that colored our clothes were a sign of these overwhelming factors.

Practicing my smile one last time in the mirror before I headed down to the lounge to celebrate our “victory!” The only thought in my head was, I’d finally dress up in MY clothes again and toss those sweaty button ups in the darkest part of my closet until Nationals. When Nationals decide to shine their lights on me again, I know the power in myself gets taken over by the rush of chatter, the clicking of computers, and yearning for more time in the day. But what does that matter? I am in it to win…right?