One of my favorite quotes comes from the show The Office when Andy Bernard states,”I wish there was a way to know you are in the good old days before you’ve actually left them”. I never really cherished my childhood until it was over and, like Andy Bernard, I look back wishing I could have enjoyed it more.

I grew up in Upstate New York in a small town you would pass by and never look back at. It was the kind of place where hunting and fishing was a religion and Sunday church was a requirement. Much of my family lived in this small town and I spent a lot of time wandering the woods with my cousins, fishing with my uncle, or getting together on Saturday nights and playing guitar. 

Growing up I would always watch my grandfather, uncles and father get up at five in the morning and “Go Huntin”, it was something of a tradition to hunt every morning you could. Needless to say I always looked forward to the day I would be able to go out with them and finally be included in the tradition that was looked at so fondly in my town. When I turned twelve, my grandpa and Dad took me to an amish shop that sold bows and bought me my first compound bow. I was so excited I asked every ten minutes to take it out back and shoot it. 

The day before my first hunt I was so excited I couldn't sleep. My mind raced with images of me shooting ten point bucks and bringing home venison to my proud family. I dreamt of celebrations and the gargantuan trophy that would be my first deer. 

When my five o’clock alarm rang and my grandpa and dad started to get ready, I was shaking with excitement. It was a frigid 20 degree, dark morning, but as I trudged through the swamp I could hardly feel the cold. As I sat in the tree stand in the bitter morning air, my father and grandpa talked and laughed, enjoying the morning. I sat completely still for four hours, waiting impatiently for my moment. I saw nothing. 

It continued like this for the next couple mornings, I sat alert and ready to strike while my grandpa and dad enjoyed the morning. After the first couple of days, I grew restless. I felt like I was wasting my time, freezing my ass off at five in the morning while seeing absolutely nothing. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, I had still seen nothing and every morning I didn't, I enjoyed the experience less and less. 

The truth about hunting is that it is a game of patience, People go years without even seeing a deer. My younger self didn’t see the experience as time I could be enjoying with my dad and grandpa in nature, but as a lost opportunity. 

After a year of not getting a deer, I began to lose interest in hunting. I started to skip days and when I was out I would sit restlessly and impatiently. Soon enough my grandpa started to teach my brother how to hunt and I started to sit alone hunting. 

When I finally did start to see deer, I was alone. I was starting to get into hunting but I wasn’t having the fun I thought I would. It was one of these days when I was sitting alone, enjoying the morning and thinking, when I realized what I was missing. I realized that hunting is about enjoying the moment and being together, it's not just about the trophy. 

Now I enjoy hunting much more and I take any opportunity I can to do it. Even though I enjoy it now, I can’t help but occasionally wonder what I missed when I was younger. If I had lived more in the moment would I have had a more enriching experience? I guess I will never know, but now I enjoy every second of being out in the woods hunting.