It was the end of December and it seems like my world had been shattered and pounded with a large sledgehammer a million times. Ever since then I learned that sometimes bad things happen to good people. It's been a very long time; since I have had to drag this large amount of weight; that I would now call my close friend; health anxiety. I'm Bree, A 16-year-old girl who had to watch her own parent get closer to death every day and affect her life in the most negative ways. My life has been a huge domino effect. This is the biggest thing I carry.

I remember a point in time when I would wake up and it was hard to get dressed let alone even get close to getting out of bed. I felt like I was dying every day; I know that sounds really crazy but I had gained medical-related trauma from watching my parent die every day. When I watched this happen I was at the ripe age of 14 and I felt like the most independent little freshman ever. That is until I gained this trama, I would live every day crying because I thought something was wrong with me or with the people around me. It didn't help that my anxiety was so severe it would give me physical symptoms and make me more anxious. It was a neverending cycle and a domino effect.  This cycle got so bad to the point where I had to keep going to the hospital due to anxiety symptoms that got so bad that they thought something was wrong with me. It was by far the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced.

I tried so hard to get better on my own because no one actually believed me and on top of that I had a big downfall when I found out someone close to me got diagnosed with cancer. Since that day I have slowly healed but sometimes it is hard when the cold, hard, blue, and white tiles pop into my head. The sound of the heartbeat machine makes my heart race faster than anything, and the look on my stepmother's face pops into my mind giving me the blankest stare and empty mind. Looking back on that moment makes me feel sick. That is one of the scariest things I look back on because it hits just as hard as being there in the moment.

Ultimately I have learned to live with this friend. I have learned to control my actions and how to calm down when something bad like this experience happens. I have healed a lot since this experience with no help. The only people that have helped me are my friends and I'm very lucky for that. I have done this with no therapist and no one to talk to other than my close peers. I used to think I was weak for being this way but now I finally have the confidence to say that I am a strong independent individual who got through an experience and the effects it had by myself with the support of my peers. I am still healing but I have made it very far and I want everyone who has gone through a crazy experience to know that they are not alone and not be scared to reach out to someone and share their story.