The name I hated | Teen Ink

The name I hated

March 2, 2022
By Dogs03 GOLD, Sussex, Wisconsin
Dogs03 GOLD, Sussex, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Hay field, the meaning of my name. It is not a very special meaning. A night that is lit by the bright shining moon. Alone in a hay field, wide open for many miles. That sounds nice. 


Alone. When you enter a hay field you might be alone for miles on end. When a farmer is making hay bales, they mostly do it alone. 


That fits me, I like doing things alone.I tend to be able to do things better when I’m doing things alone at school. Out of school, I always had my sister to hang out with, but she left for college last year. Now, I spend my time alone when I’m not spending time with my parents.  


I like the way my name sounds. Haley sounds like you're lying in a hammock on a delightful summer day, gazing up into the clouds. Seeing the clear baby blue sky.  


Haley can be spelled many different ways. Hailey, Hayley, Haylee, Halle, Hailee and so on. Everybody thinks that my name is spelled Hailey. I don’t like it. It doesn't make me feel like I’m my own unique person. I just got thrown in with a bunch of Haileys. It makes me feel like I’m part of this society where everyone has the name Hailey and we all look and act the same. I have a common name. There is no way of denying that.


I would change it, but my mom likes my name. My mom said that it is her old neighbor's name. Being a small girl and meeting the next door neighbor. “Hi my name is Haley!” Making a friend, with the neighbor, only to know that you may not be friends forever. Moving away from each other and making new friends. 

 

My name feels like a red columbine flower, anxious. I don’t like sitting and doing nothing. I feel restless when I’m sitting for long periods of time. It happens most when sitting for 40 minutes in a classroom. When you don’t understand what’s going on. Trying to ask the teacher, but they don’t give you time to ask questions. Feeling like you want to run out of the room, feeling suffocated. Waiting for the bell, counting down the seconds “6…5…4…3…” 


Haley looks green, like the hair on top of my head. Green like the tree leaves on a nice warm and breezy day. Blonde, that is Covered with chemicals, to feel unique. To be someone different, different from the rest of the world. To be my own me. 


Sometimes, on bad days, Haley looks like black and white. Like ink on a person's skin. Ink that they only paid $20 dollars for that  needed to be covered up and redone to look nice.. 


But sometimes, Haley looks like The Ink on my skin. my dogs and my dream job. Inked on my skin for me to be reminded of the things I love and hold dearly to me. Like the skies on a stormy day, where the whole place goes dark.


I shouldn’t hate my name because it is a common name. I made my name unique to myself. That is why I like my name now.



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