Dad

He loves me. 

He took me to Build-A-Bear-Workshop because I would not stop asking to go. I got a black white dog and named her Maria. He even bought her a whole outfit. My flower was full

He loves me not.  

“Hey dad can we go out to eat? You, me and my sister?” I called and asked him. 

“ I'm still working on my car mami, maybe tomorrow if I finish” he told me. 

“Oh ok, well just let me know then.” I responded. A petal began to fall off my rose. 

He loves me. 

“Daddy can we go to Banana Split?” I squealed. 

“Yes mami lets go, go put your shoes on.” He told me with a smile.

He loves me not.

“Daddy are you coming to my softball game?” I excitedly asked him. 

“Yes I will be there when I get off work.” He responded with a sigh. The first inning went by and still no sign of him. I thought he must be late. Second inning goes by, maybe he just stopped at home to change or shower. Finally, the last inning came around and he never showed. Another petal fell off my rose. 

He loves me. 

He took me fishing with my brothers and taught me how to release the pole and take the fish off the hook. He got so excited when I caught my first fish, he helped me hold it to take a picture and send it to my mom. He then helped me release it back into the water. 

He loves me not.

It was our Daddy-Daughter Dance at school for my sister and me. I was so excited to take him and introduce him to my friends and dance with him, until  my mom called me into the room.

“Your dad is not going to be taking you and your sister to the dance anymore.” She told me with a huff.

“What? But why mommy?! He said he was going to take us!” I yelled with my voice cracking. I could feel my eyes starting to tear up. 

“He said he wouldn't make it home on time, mama. Your brother Alfonso said he would take you girls.  He is getting ready right now.” She said softly. Another rose fell but slower this time, it took its time.

He loves me.

He took me to Walgreens because I really wanted candy. Anytime I had a sweet tooth and wanted candy or something to drink he always took me to the store. 

He loves me not

“ Do you have another kid?”I asked him bluntly.

“ No I don't. Stop believing all the lies your mom is telling you. “ He said aggressively. Another petal came flying off. I knew the truth and gave him the chance to tell me the truth and he didn't. His daughter was already a year old. 

He loves me.

He took me and my sister to Odyssey Fun World. We spent the whole night playing in the arcade and winning prizes.

He loves me not

He said some mean things to my brother over the internet and I felt obligated to defend my brother and tell my dad off. We argued for about an hour on Christmas day. My final petal fell off. We have not spoken in nine months. Not a single phone call or text message. I've come to the conclusion that I do not need my father in my life and a daughter should not have to reach out and bend her back for her father. I will forever wish things could have been different. Maybe in another lifetime, I will get the relationship I always longed for.