It was 9:50 when I had arrived at the hospital, It was nerve-wracking for me. I did not know anyone there I just did what people told me. I had thought what if I find someone special in my life in the future, and it happened. When I went to bed that night I had cried my eyes out in my bed thinking about my family and how much stressed and worried they were, yet I was happy to know that I had somewhat escaped from all the drama, but I knew it wasn’t the end. I had fallen asleep crying and exhausted.
It was the next day it was a good day, with good nurses, and good food. I also had school from 8:30 to 12:00. I was still nervous to talk but there was a girl there who was social, her name was Samy. Later during the day, I had group therapy. It was good I had talked and learned about other people and what they’re going through. I felt so bad for them and was pissed at people who made them the way they are because all I do is care about people. That’s why I was there because all I do is care and try to help but when you get lost and stuck in those feelings like you feel trapped underwater trying to hold your breath as long as you can trying to get to the surface before you blackout. Later a kid named Ethan, he was playing on the ps4 there while I was in the sensory room because I was stressed out. I had gotten bored, so I went to play with him. We talked more about what and why we were there. We had become friends that night. That night I will never forget.
Wednesday was even better. I had met a new girl there that was gorgeous… but what am I kidding I’m there for a reason. I had my problems and they had theirs. Plus my goal was getting out since they put me on the 48-hour watch. I also could tell that Ethan and I were getting closer to each other as the day went on. I couldn’t sleep that night but I got some at least.
Thursday was very stressful for me. The reason why was that Samy was leaving and the other girl. The one girl had a court order and it could have gone bad, so I felt stressed for them because I didn’t want them to go or end up somewhere worse. But later we had learned about radical acceptance about accepting things you don’t want to accept but you know it is what it is. That night we had someone new, her name was Abi. She was so pretty, but again I’m there for myself, also that I had given up on love before so I didn’t believe in the whole relationship and getting married and having kids in the future, But I still had my feelings.
It was Friday now and I was so tired waking up that day. Ethan and I had so much fun though we had long conversations and colored. Friday was also somewhat boring we had not much to do but just hanging out with Ethan, Rudy, and Abi was just good enough as it was. Also, Rudy had come on Tuesday but we didn’t become close until Friday night. We all did and I could feel Ethan and I getting closer, our connection was growing stronger. Later that night I went to bed crying wanting Ethan as my brother or maybe even more.
Saturday Morning was good we had breakfast and we all had to take our pills at 8-9. We also got someone new named Yami. Ethan was starting to catch feelings for them and I was getting a little bit jealous. I had to stay strong because my mental health matters to me. Later Ethan got a call and he was pissed, sad, and shaking so we went and got a cup of ice from the room and we talked and I ended up hugging him. He hugged me back and the only words that came out of his mouth were, “I Love You.” I could not believe it, Ethan told me he loved me, of course, I said it back, but Ethan was meaning as the brotherhood love were I meant that I wanted him but soon I realized that a Friendship is so more special than a relationship or some girl I knocked up the day after I met them. I was still sad that I didn’t have him to myself. I ended up going to my room crying and he snuck in and hugged me. I hugged him back and told him, “You should go before you get caught.” I came out later and saw that he and Yami were holding hands I was jealous and just dealt with it. I went to bed later crying and fallen asleep crying. My dreams made me feel better.
Sunday had come. Soon I would be leaving on Monday or so I thought. Ethan and I were so happy but sad because we had a plan that he would leave with me, come home, him coming to his home with me, but I knew how much I tried or try to try it wouldn’t work. It was a good day because we all had fun and laughed and felt loved and that we belonged together forever. Rudy and I made this joke called Rudy’s Tacos. “What’s the difference between a Rudy Taco and an Ethan Taco.” Abi laughed. We all laughed and Stared at each other. “The difference is that Ethan made it.” We kept laughing that whole night. We would say, “Hola Nino!” while laughing writing notes and coloring, and being sad, but we were happy and close that’s all that mattered. We ended up playing a game together, The Late Night Show with Rudy’s Tacos. I had laughed so hard that night that I even started wheezing. We signed the show off with Rudy’s and I Italian dance. We were laughing still during meditation that we had to go to bed early. I still felt sad because Ethan didn’t feel the same way I did about him. I cried myself to sleep that night.
It was Monday now. I thought that the whole weak went by so quickly that I wish I had more time with Ethan, Rudy, and Abi. I never had a connection that strong. The nurses figured out what Ethan and I had planned and what was going on and took our notes/stuff with our social media, but luckily I still had one note in my pocket and I remembered Rudy’s email. Rudy also left that day and we were all sad that he left. Ethan and I were sadder because the nurses were getting in the way but all they were doing was starting a war with me. The people I love and care about, I don’t give up on them that easily. Basically, they said that Ethan and I couldn’t be friends anymore, but that wasn’t gonna stop me. Otherwise, that day was an ok day for me.
Tuesday, Wasn’t the best for me. I was gonna be going home that day. I was happy that I was gonna be able to see my parents again, but sad because I would be leaving Ethan, and I loved him and he loved me. I honestly didn’t want to leave him there, I wanted more time with him but I knew that had to end for the time being.